Life As We Know It

A Thousand Words...literally!

2012-02-09T17:10:00.000-05:00

This might just look like a sweet picture to anyone else...

but for me, it is worth 1000 words.

One thousand word spent

praying

doubting myself

questioning learning abilities

asking for help

refusing help

seeking advice and finding answers

trying new things

repenting for giving up

praising

encouraging

bragging

One thousand words spent

asking why?

discussing

pleading

lecturing

reasoning

explaining

modeling

giving up (again!)

venting

getting creative

and finally

falling on my knees before the One who knows...

(isn't it funny that sometimes that's the last thing we do?)

You see, this picture represents the fruit of our two year struggle to get Benji reading, AND to get Benji and Ava to stop their constant picking at each other. This picture represents the faithfulness of our God...and how He does care about the details of our life!

Wanna know how we did it?

Coming soon...

What do you do when...

2012-01-31T18:10:00.000-05:00

every word you say hits a brick wall?

When obedience turns into a negotiable concept?

When you get so frustrated that you want to stomp and yell and punch the wall?

When the entire household has molasses running through their veins,

but the schedule races by at the speed of light?

When everyone, including you, needs something dramatic and new,

all at the same time?

When you need to be doing 5 things all at once...

but can't seem to even manage one successfully?

I get excited!

Yep!

It's when those seasons come that I lean deeper into my Rock.

He put me here.

He has made me content to be a wife, a mother, a help-meet, a homemaker, a teacher...

I love watching our home get rocked this way

because...

The outcome is beautiful!

We all emerge clean and shiny, washed by the rain of trials and friction, cleansed by the act of humble submission to our Heavenly Father,

author of

orderliness

and peace

giver of wisdom

lifter of the weary

light for those who stumble

encourager of the mommies

protector of their children

leader of the lost.

So, we wait. I pray and observe...both myself and my children. I take notes, find scripture, get ideas from others, pray some more, and let the Lord make a new plan. This happens every so often to us...mostly when I'm feeling puffed up and prideful that I CAN DO IT!

Because, after all, I can't do it! It's only Christ through me that can...

It's a hard lesson learned, one that I apparently need to learn over and over again.

This time seems to be a bit harder than others...and I'm seeing bad fruit from bad choices.

BUT

Jesus will be glorified here!

And it will be a beautiful thing...

We interrupt this program...

2012-01-12T01:56:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day...

Just a day to stay at home, listen to the rain

learn something, cook some food

clean a bit

snuggle and read

you know, normal stuff!

But...

as soon as I woke up I knew I had to visit my chiropractor.

From all the enthusiastic violin practicing I've been doing with the children

my jaw and neck were hurting

and boy were they in pain this morning!

I could barely open my mouth...

So, a phone call and a frantic hour later

we were on the road.

The appointment was at 11, which meant we had to leave at 10

If you've read previous posts of mine

you'll know that leaving the house at 10 is *yawn* early morning for us!

Thank goodness for extra homemade turkey sausage patties from yesterday in my fridge

and a quick kefir smoothie!

Anyway, after a crazy unexpected three hours in which I began to feel tremendously better,

we pulled in the driveway where I was greeted by a text message from a friend asking

"r u home?"

Want my honest reaction?

*inward groan*

*thoughts of being dishonest*

I don't like to be interrupted!

And we had JUST pulled in the driveway, for heaven's sakes!

After a morning of a huge interruption!

BUT...

I replied

"sure!"

And in 15 minutes had an onlooker while I fed the kids and cleaned up the kitchen...sort of

THEN...

(are you ready? this is big...)

SAT

DOWN

and

chatted nonstop for several hours with a friend that I hadn't seen for quite a while that used to be one of my closest friends who said she was lonely and unsettled and we got interrupted several times by the kids but it didn't phase me because hey, the whole day so far has been an interruption, right?

*whew*

And you know what?

It was great!

Yes, the house suffered...

dinner was late...

part of school didn't get done...

violin didn't get practiced...

the children watched a couple movies...

But it was OK!

We had a great time and shared things that needed to be talked about between the two of us.

And, best of all, I was reminded of something.

A truth that MUST be remembered if you are going to be a successful parent.

The interruptions in your day are God breaking in and giving you an opportunity to teach the children something about life, and giving you an opportunity to practice patience, grace, gentleness or any other character lesson He is teaching YOU!

Interruptions are the alarm clock going off, reminding you not to get too caught up in

the busy, but to stop

and

in the

moment

To be interrupted is a gift.

DEEPression

2012-01-09T08:37:00.005-05:00

falling without warning

like thick grey snowflakes

permanently frozen

sucking me under

frosting my windshield

swerving me off the road

into a safe ditch

no more travel today

my mind shuts down

and simple choices become

a herculean effort

laughter and jokes turn to

ugly noise

amplified by nerves on edge

physical touch is painful

friendly advances seem threatening

eyes can't focus on reality

when the flurries come

sometimes I can make them melt

not today

today it is a blizzard

no tools for escape

hands fall numb and heavy

no help but to sleep

and hope to wake tomorrow

to sunshine

{does any of this ring true for you? if so, there is hope! you can get help...I did. don't give up, dear sister...there is a plan for your life!}

It was lovely...

2011-12-28T21:16:00.000-05:00

It was lovely, it really was...
...from start to finish...

Each year on Christmas Eve when I get ready to pile the gifts under the tree I always think we've not done enough...

that our love for each child might be measured by how many gifts they receive the next morning

or by how much money we spent

But...

Each year as I set everything lovingly under the tree

I am overwhelmed by the reality of how generous the Lord has allowed us to be

and how generous the Lord is with us

in more ways than just tangible gifts...

When we drove through the devastation that is Joplin on our trip two weeks ago we were brought to tears...

and still I am affected.

Acutely grateful and aware of the ways the Lord has spared us, and so thankful to

with family

in our house

under a roof

in the warmth

with food

our own clothes

fresh water

and

wrapped gifts

Gifts that we don't NEED

only things that we

WANT

small tokens

weak gestures

attempts to represent

and symbolize

the most

AMAZING

GIFT

ALL

a tiny baby

helpless in an animal feeding trough

wrapped in strips of dirty rough fabric

here to save

.us.

So...embracing all this, we had a wonderful Christmas. We spent the days with family, crammed in small houses, talking above noisy children, waiting for slow food to cook, cleaning up messes, laughing, hugging, and loving every precious moment of it.

I am ready to put behind me all the tears and unanswered questions of this year and

turn to face the only One who knows the answers

and follow Him into the next year,

the future that only He is certain of...

Worrying about what lies ahead and trying to answer things for myself is too big a burden for me to carry

and I gladly

turn

over

to my Savior,

the precious tiny babe

come to save the world.

Happy New Year!

May you look to Him for the truth, and the true measure of your gifts.

Ephesians 3:20-22

Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

(kjv)

Merry Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T10:23:00.000-05:00

Wo-hooo!

2011-12-19T12:15:00.001-05:00

I'm unabashedly excited!

We had a wonderful time last week on our impromptu trip to Dallas and many other places. I'm so glad we got to go, and so thankful for Marvin's job that allowed us to!

I LOVE Christmas...

I LOVE this week of preparation, of our hearts and home...

We do Advent, but are scrambling to catch up since we missed two weeks being gone...

Marvin always makes Christmas so magical for me, especially! I don't know how he does it, but he's amazing. We didn't celebrate Christmas as kids at my house, so he's trying to make up for a childhood of lost memories!

I can't wait to share our trip with all of you...but right now

It's time to roll up my sleeves and get to work!

(and get Ava out of the bathtub...)

{Ava took this at one of the many beautiful places we went last week...}

Minus one...

2011-12-17T00:01:00.000-05:00

It's been a bit over a year since my miscarriage.

I still cry and miss my baby...

I think about how old she'd be right now...she pops into my head at odd times, and I mentally fit her in to what we're doing.

I always feel like someone's missing and am constantly looking around, counting to make sure we've got everyone.

I have friends who had babies around the time I would have had my angel, and it makes the empty space in my heart even bigger when I see them.

I also have friends who have shared the pain of miscarriage...but they've gone on to have other children. "But what if I can't?" I always think...
We've tried...and I had one more miscarriage...

Discovering and dealing with related health issues should make it easier to bide my time. Some days it does, but some days it doesn't.

They say time heals everything, but I'm not so sure. Part of me is forever changed...will forever be longing...

Despite the sadness, I've come to terms with the reality that
it happened.

I am a mother of five...
two of whom I've never kissed
but will someday.

It will forever be a part of who I am
we will always have a part of our family missing.

Our family is not yet complete.

God has promised me to one day fill my aching arms again...but the waiting is so hard.

Grain Free Raisin Cookies

2011-12-16T21:59:00.000-05:00

We all want a sweet treat during the holiday season!
Thankfully, there are some delicious recipes out there that will help if you are trying to keep your family on track.
I honestly can't remember where this one came from...I think a friend sent it to me.
The batter is just as tasty raw as it is baked, and sometimes we just eat it by the spoonful right out of the fridge!

Grain/Gluten-Free Raisin Cookies

Ingredients:
10 TBSP grass fed butter (not as tasty with grocery store butter, nor as good for you!)
1/2 C raw honey
2 tsp vanilla
2 1/2 C almond flour or meal
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp soda (not GAPS legal)
1 C shredded coconut (you can leave this out, we like it in!)
1 C raisins

Directions:
Dump it all in a bowl, make sure the butter is very soft first, and mix, mix, mix! Get your kids to help, this is a great, fool-proof recipe for them to make!
Bake at 350 for 10 min. ***Cool on pan***
(That is very, very important. The butter needs time to re-harden slightly before you try and move them)

2011-12-15T10:28:00.000-05:00

Me: "Who told you that?"

Ava: "No one! I just found it in my head!"

~~~~~~~~

Ava: "Mom? I'll miss you when I'm dead..."

~~~~~~~~~

Ava: "I wish I had fourteen children, then I could have a mansion and fourteen beds!"

~~~~~~~~~

Ava: "Mom? When am I gonna be old enough to go on a stage? I want to sign up for one right now! And I'll be fine with a crowd."

~~~~~~~~~

Ava: "I'm guessing that God is writing our prayers on little Post It notes and hanging them up with our names on them?" (after bedtime prayers one night!)

Stuffed Shells

2011-12-14T16:09:00.000-05:00

As promised, here is the first of many recipes I want to share.

Our GAPS/grain-free journey is possibly nearing it's end

BUT

I've learned a lot

and added some great, nutritious recipes to my repitoire!

This recipe is called

Stuffed Shells...

and the "shells" can be bell peppers, steamed cabbage leaves, or any other cup shaped veggie you can imagine!

We used green bell peppers...

Ingredients:

1/2 lb grass fed ground beef

3 large mushrooms

1 large onion

3 cloves garlic

1/2 C chopped spinach

1 1/2 C ricotta cheese (I used kefir cheese)

1C shredded mozzarella (I used raw grass fed cheddar)

1/2 tsp parsley

1 beaten egg yolk

4 bell peppers or 8 lg cabbage leaves

2C tomato sauce

Directions:

Steam cabbage leaves if that's what you are using. Brown beef and add veggies. Cook till soft. Mix ricotta (or kefir cheese), half the mozzarella, and parsley in a bowl, add meat mixture. Pour a little of the tomato sauce in the bottom of your baking dish. Stuff your veggie shells with the mixture (or roll your stuffed cabbage leaves), set on the sauce. Pour the rest of the sauce over the tops and add the rest of the shredded mozzarella. Bake at 350 till cheese is melted.

Tips: I would recommend steaming which ever veggie "shell" you decide to use prior to filling and baking. The first time I did this, the green peppers took FOREVER to cook.

{I adapted this recipe from one over at Modern Alternative Mama's place. Check her out!}

sleep in heavenly...

2011-12-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

{proof}

2011-12-10T14:43:00.000-05:00

{proof} positive that
they really are!

Field of Bees

2011-12-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

It was a beautiful day...
typical fall in the midwest, brilliant colors everywhere
summer fading away in a last wash of richness

The wildflowers were stunning
but
the field was full of bees...

She didn't want to stay and pick flowers.

We left, and it made me think...
Am I ever in a field of bees?

Walking in seems so appealing
Curiosity is my second nature.

Do I stay despite the sting of reality?
Should I?

Depends on where the field is...
sometimes fighting the bees is a good thing!

Normal

2011-12-06T17:52:00.000-05:00

These days Daddy leaves for work at sunrise, before any little feet come pitterpatter down the stairs...and sometimes barely before Momma is awake!

We take our time getting started, sometimes me in my jammies still while I'm getting the kids organized.

More often than not, as I serve breakfast, I look at the clock and it's going on 11:00!

It takes me a long time to feel awake in the morning, I have to do things in a certain order or it just doesn't feel right.

First, the laundry. First before anything else!

Then making the bed, checking email, showering/getting dressed...

THEN I'm ready for kids, breakfast, etc.

We usually wrap up violin practice and school work around 2, then we have lunch!

Sometimes the munchies hit us around 12 and we'll have a quick bite, but real "lunch" is not usually till 2 or sometimes even 3:00!

Afternoons are usually spent tidying up the house, playing outside, or running errands.

I start dinner at 6 or 6:30 and we eat at 7 or later...when Daddy comes home.

Kids go to bed all at once at 9, parents at 10..or 11...or whenever!

Our normal is not normal for everyone else

but

works

{well}

for

us!

Do you have a normal that isn't?

Ava

2011-12-05T05:00:00.000-05:00

5 years...

1,825 days...

43,8000 hours...

2,628,000 seconds...

gone by in a blink of an eye!

I still think, "Wow! I have a DAUGHTER!"

Someone to train to be a wife and a mother

Someone who will watch my every move and want to be like me...good or bad

A little person who is like me but also completely un-like...

She mystifies my head

but

my heart completely understands her

Having a daughter is NOTHING like having sons...

I'm still surprised!

She's a delight to watch...

dancing and singing her way through life

loving passionately

and

hating with fury

There is no lukewarm here!

Stuffed animals are her companion and lovie of choice
I was exactly the same...
and like her, I had a toy tiger!

She's a rose petal tornado...

sweetness

and

wild wind

She amazes me every day

and teaches me things about myself

that

sometimes I do not want to learn

Five marks the end of a journey

and I'm sad

but

in awe of what will be happening

right before our eyes...

grace and beauty...

laughter and sweetness...

tigers, lions and poodles

plastic food

and princess dresses

songs and dances

and falling down

silliness and tears and

coloring books

in {Love} for 5 years...

can't wait for the rest!

One of THOSE!

2011-12-03T05:58:00.000-05:00

It's one of THOSE days...
you know, when you sort of have to forget what is socially acceptable?

When it becomes completely reasonable to let the dog clean last night's dinner leftovers out of the crockpot...

When you don't see anything wrong with staying in your pajamas, bra-less,
even when your 10 year old son invites a friend over...
and the friend's dad is coming over to pick him up...

When you feed your grain-free kids popcorn and pretzels for lunch and then get irritated when they are hungry 15 minutes later...

When the bathroom smells like pee but you see no reason why you should investigate or, heaven forbid, CLEAN it...

When you stare at the laundry pile in the middle of the floor and idly think what pretty colors it is before stepping over it and continuing out of the room...

When the only activity that seems reasonable for everyone to do involves the computer or television...

When you try and remember what your domestic duties are and just hear static...

When you fleetingly wonder if you should pretend to be sick in bed so your husband won't ask what you did (or didn't do!) all day...

Yep...
one of THOSE days!

We all have them, and it's OK.
I don't have anything profound to say about it, other than it's just life, and it's normal.
Honestly, I haven't had one in a loooong time.
I must really need a rest!

More than just a hill 'o beans

2011-12-01T18:29:00.000-05:00

I love having three kids...but my heart still aches for my fourth...and my fifth

that we lost.

I think about it every.single.day.

I'm not angry...just sad...

and

wondering what God will have for us next!

my Three Musketeers love adventures in the outdoors!

They pray every night that Jesus will give us a farm...

with a creek...

and a large hollow log...

and a cave...

and a couch and a TV in the cave...

I tell them that God hears every prayer but sometimes He answers them a bit differently than we expect!

You know, to avoid any tears when our new farm has the hollow log but not the cave with a TV in it!

One of the many aspects of homeschooling I love is that my kids are friends

not just siblings, not just "the other one that sleeps in my bedroom"

but friends. Real honest to goodness friends.

I cherish their conversations...

I love that Ava wants to give Alec "huggies and kisses" before he leaves to play with a friend...

The other night, Ava had trouble falling asleep and Alec sat in her bed reading her Bible stories

till I could come up and talk to her...

Priceless!

I also love that Ava will have two BIGGER brothers to look out for her! What a filter that will be when boys come a knockin' down the road! And I also enjoy knowing that Ava will have a really good idea of how to relate to the opposite sex and what makes them tick! Of course God's plan is perfect, but I also certainly wouldn't change the birth order here even if I had a chance!

Getting the three of them to cooperate for a photo is virtually impossible, in fact, I don't really even try anymore. Usually I just put them in the clothes, put them in the location, and then let them do their thing! And honestly, the "outtakes" are probably my favorites, because they capture what my three are really all about...

If the picture below was the norm, I think I'd be deathly bored!

Marvin is working on the big "protect and honor your sister" idea with the boys. It's tough because even though they are older than her, she's still the pesky little sister and all they wanna do is protect their stuff! This is, unfortunately, a lesson only Daddy can teach...

He's begun to encourage them to play games that involve "rescuing" Ava from a giant horrible beast, in attempts to make it exciting to learn the life-lesson.

It's REALLY important to us that the message gets through...

I'll keep you posted!

It's so awesome to me to get to watch them all learn new things. Benji has taken off with math like nobody's business and his drawings in his sketch book are completely amazing! Tiny and full of detail and each one tells a complete story. Alec is becoming so much more self motivated. I can tell he's really starting to enjoy school, HE chose his own science book this time around AND his own history book! Ava is pretty much teaching herself how to read...and is extremely motivated with domestic tasks. Sweeping, scrubbing out the sink with baking soda, and washing the cabinet fronts with vinegar water are some of her favorite things to do!

All I can say about the image above, is...

WATCH OUT!

*grin*

These two do.not.get.along.

At.All.

(for right now, but...)

It's awful!

I remember Alec and Benji going through the same phase right before we took Alec out of public school in second grade. Within 2 months, we noticed a remarkable positive change in Alec, and in his ability to kindly relate to others outside of his peer group. That is one way that a traditional age-grouped school setting is crippling...kids develop a tight tolerance for only those in their developmental stage. It makes dealing with siblings after a long tiring day in the classroom nearly an impossibility!

My hope is that their friendships will continue to blossom, Ava's naturally bossy nature will subside a bit, Benji's highly sensitive temper will quiet, and Alec will come into a fuller realization of his role as the oldest...

Because, deep down, they really and truly are FRIENDS

and that's the best part of being siblings!

Ava loves animals. More than dollies. More than nearly anything.

She goes to bed with no less than 10 animals piled high on each side of her bed. Good thing she sleeps in a queen! I've come in her room at night before and found her using her big tiger or horse as her pillow!

I remember loving animals as a little girl, too. I remember on several occasions just BEGging my mom for a new teddy bear when we were out shopping.

I love watching the nurturing, motherly side of Ava grow. She takes such good care of her stuffed animals, putting them to bed under the covers, shoving them down in her dolly high chair and feeding them plastic carrots, singing to them, taking them for rides in the dolly stroller...

You WANT to be a stuffed animal in this girl's room! Ha!

Even though she's turning 5 in a week, I can still see traces of baby sweetness lingering. She likes to bring an animal to snuggle with if she feels shy...she runs straight to me for a snuggle when she wakes up in the morning...she still cries HARD when she's upset...she still needs a rest in the afternoon...

But it's all fading fast. Too fast.

This handsome fellow is my comedian! Oh, the laughter he brings to my heart!

He's finally realized that HE is funny, and we are NOT laughing AT him! It took a while...he cried a lot thinking we were making fun of him for a long time.

Now he knows he's funny. He has great timing, does a fantastic British accent, and spits out the most random, hilarious things all day long.

You can't parent well without a sense of humor!

Benji will be eight in January. That's two years under 10. That's 6 years under driving.

I hope he's still funny then!

My oldest, my perfect baby.

Napped twice, for two hours each time! Slept through the night at 7 weeks!

No allergies, no issues, no naughtiness, no terrible twos...

I thought I was the best mom ever!

How we learn and grow!

Alec is 10...sometimes older, sometimes younger!

Older, more often than not these days.

I love watching him read

and write his school work

He's so big, up to my shoulders...

Makes the weight of my reality on my shoulders heavy.

I will soon have a teenager.

He'll be amazing.

I just know it.

And that, my friends, is more than just

a hill 'o beans!

Just words...

2011-11-28T08:37:00.001-05:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving! My parents hosted it this year, which meant a short 15 minute drive instead of our usual 50 minute drive. We missed my other aunt and uncle, but saw one aunt/uncle set and spent the day with my parents, brother and "Aunt Fancy" and her husband. We call her "Aunt Fancy" because both of the aunts are named Karen, but this particular aunt owns a lovely black and white horse named Fancy. Ava loves the horse, and consequently, loves Aunt Fancy!

We saw my in laws on Saturday for turkey dinner number two, and spent that day lounging, watching football, and I was knitting like a madwoman to finish a certain Christmas present...
My mother in law sure makes a delish pecan pie!

After two days of culinary indulgence, we spent Sunday working HARD, getting our house decorated inside. Before Ava was born, we used to get our tree and such on the weekend after Thanksgiving. But...once she came along, we felt that having the house decorated for Christmas on her birthday every year was just not the best idea...for many reasons.

This year, however, we are taking an unexpected trip waaaaaay down South, right smack in the middle of the month. So, we asked (very nicely!) if Ava minded having the tree up for her birthday party this time. She cheerfully said, "Sure!" but then decided that it was HER birthday tree and the boys could put NO boy ornaments on it. Uh-oh! There were tears, and it got worked out, but I kind of doubt we'll be doing this again any time soon.

All weekend, I felt like I was on the up part of a roller-coaster...tick...Tick...TIck...TICK and guess what's happening today? Happy Monday to me! Over the top...aaaaAAAHHHHHHHH! Ha!

With volunteer work, three classroom parties for our co-op, two violin lessons, a haircut (that I'm doing), and a birthday party to plan and throw, this week seems a bit daunting. Not my typical week, we've cut WAY back on crazy time obligations from what we used to.

We'll make sure to drink plenty of kefir smoothies and eat lots of green veggies and healthy fats to keep our immune systems bolstered during this stressful week. We also use something called Berry Well daily during stress or a cold/flu time of year. This stuff is fantastic, and tastes good. Perfect for anyone who is "new" to alternative medicine and having a hard time getting their kids to swallow the garlic and honey!

I"m doing some experimental food drying this week and next in prep for our upcoming road trip, which I hope to be able to share with all of you. Also, my packing list and how we still eat healthy when we travel!

Happy Monday, everyone!

licked!

2011-11-22T23:10:00.000-05:00

this Boy

wanted

this Dog

we had to say

No

but the pictures

sure

are

cute!

one more Last Time

2011-11-21T10:55:00.000-05:00

Babywearing is near and dear to my heart...

it's one of the things I miss most about not having a tiny one in the house...and one of the things I hope I'll get to do again someday

Back in the spring, Ava went through a brief spurt of asking me to wear her on my back as I did housework. She was the one I wore the most as an infant because I was finally at home full time. After having to leave my boys as babies with a sitter, I just didn't want to put Ava down!

I knew that these were going to be the last times she asked me...she's getting so big and independent...as she should be!

So...as I wore her one more Last Time, I grabbed the camera and stopped time with our reflection in my dirty living room mirror...

4~25~11
i love you, baby girl!

snowballs

2011-11-17T10:42:00.000-05:00

We have this beautiful tree in the smack middle of our backyard...it's some type of hydrangea, we call it the "snowball bush"

Every summer, beautiful white round flower clusters grow, and snowball fights in shorts is a popular activity

Ava loves the flowers...

Daddy and I don't love the location of the bush

but...

can't bear to cut it down!

It's about time!

2011-11-15T08:27:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday.
It made me think about endings and beginnings
and it made me think about how much I had missed writing about our journey
during my hiatus.

I'm ready to pick back up again!

So...
here's a little bit of this
and a little bit of that...

We took an amazing vacation to Hilton Head Island at the end of August/beginning of September.
It was all about the ocean! I had three pairs of wide eyes and thirty curious toes discovering everything there is about the seashore.

It was without a doubt the most incredible trip ever. After the initial discomfort of figuring out the island, enjoying our time together was effortless. Our condo was right on the beach, and it was off-season, so we had a little strip of heaven all to ourselves.

We saw coastal wildlife, plenty of dead sea critters washed ashore (even a dead armadillo!) and got our fill of watching the magic of a sand dollar burrow it's way into the beach.

We saw an indignant puffer fish, a baby flounder, noisy blue crabs, oyster beds squirting up at the sun, and curious dolphins.

...and a really cute bunny by our boardwalk!

We went on a road trip south one day and toured the deep mystery of Savannah in a yellow trolley. The city seduced us with it's magical canopy of trees and soothing green squares. Forsythe Park amazed us and we spent an hour or so gazing at the white iron fountain...and giggling at the partially nude mer-men and long necked geese sculpted at the bottom!
At the end of the day, our ears ringing with tales of fearsome pirates and desecrated graveyards, we wound our way deeper into the city and enjoyed flavorful local fare for dinner.

We also took time out from the beach to go see Fort Pulaski and Fort Sumter, squeezing in all the history we could in the all too short week we had. Gazing at century-old brick, molded by hands, and scarred by canon balls, we took a step back in time and appreciated our past all the more.

On the way back north we breezed through Charleston and gawked at the stunning waterfront residences. Having no more than a few hours in the city, I rolled down my window and had Marvin drive slowly as I photographed everything beautiful (which was everything I saw!)

The very last day of the trip, Marvin surprised me with a tour through one of Charleston's few remaining precious gems, a plantation home called Drayton Hall.
It's been left in it's natural state, only preserved, not restored. Original sun faded paint partially covering the hand carved mahogany ornaments on the walls, and no furniture to distract the eye from the architectural loveliness made for a veritable feast for my eyes! Sadly, our jaded tour guide rushed us through and I wasn't able to satiate my photographic appetite!! But it was still awesome...

When we got home, it was time to jump right in to our school year. There are definite advantages (like cost!) to taking a vacation at the beginning of everyone else's school year, but also disadvantages. Our homeschool co-op that we participate in started the week we got back, and I felt oh-so-rushed and pressured to rapidly undo the post vacation disaster that overtakes the house when one returns from a trip.

This time around at the co-op, I'm teaching a class, so there was even more prep and pressure involved! Fortunately, I had spent time in the summer planning out the entire two semesters in great detail, so I was able to be a bit more relaxed on the first day.

The kids did great, last year Benji was extremely clingy and I could go NOwhere (not even the bathroom) without him attached to my side, and Alec nervously used walkie talkies for several weeks to find me. This year, OH MY GOODNESS! It's like I have entirely different children!

I don't see Alec all day at all until it's time to go home, and I hardly see Benji and Ava unless I"m walking them to their next class. It's amazing what little time and patience can do when there are frustrating developmental stages with a child!

The class I'm teaching is going well, it's my first time working closely with teenagers...They are awesome! I've enjoyed every minute (mostly!) of it so far, except for the fact that we never have enough time in class to accomplish what I want to.

I finally got my curriculum choices for this school year narrowed down for my three...I had a major hitch in my giddyap a few weeks ago, though, when Alec found a history book on the shelf and positively BEGGED to use it instead of what we had planned. Thank goodness we hadn't ordered anything yet!

You know you're doing something right when your child is begging to use a history book! So...we're derailing from our grand plan (which was to switch everyone over to Sonlight) and heading down the now familiar path of an ecclectic school year. A little bit of this and a little bit of that!

Benji's remedial exercises for reading are coming along very nicely, and Ava had her very first formal reading lesson today. Although she already knew what I was teaching her...that girl has a mind like a steel trap and has been listening in to her brothers lessons her whole life!

We are still doing the GAPS diet...have been since May. We did try and stick closely on our trip, but had a few "illegal" meals, too! I promise I'll write about all that soon. I have some great food photos and recipes to post and lots to share about how going grain free has helped our family.

I've also recently learned that I have hypo-thyroid (low-functioning) and while to some that may seem dismal, I'm actually quite relieved. I've been feeling like something just wasn't right ever since Ava was born and this answers and explains a whole lot. I'm looking forward to sharing this new journey to healing with all of you!

I'm finally feeling like I've got a pretty good handle on the routine of our life at this moment...but I know that won't last long! God has a habit of shaking up my snow globe the moment the flakes settle!!

And now, because it's the end of a long day of school, house cleaning, food making and violin practicing...I'm heading to my pillow!

'Night all...and thanks for reading!

Later, y'all!

2011-08-26T17:01:00.002-04:00

Taking a break to say good-bye to summer and hello to a new school year!
I'll be back soon!

Smoothie Moves

2011-08-23T14:40:00.002-04:00

When grains are not on the menu, breakfasts can require you to think out of the box!
(Haha, get it? "out of the (cereal) box"?!)

My middle son, Benji, has been tested on and off sensitive to eggs. Not a full blown allergy, but sensitive. If you persist in giving/eating a food that you are sensitive to, there is a really good chance that a big, nasty allergy will develop. So...we really don't do scrambled eggs, omelets, etc.

Cereal, oatmeal, toast, french toast, scrambled eggs, pancakes, waffles and omelets are all a no-no for us right now. So what's for breakfast??

Kefir Smoothies!

Kefir is basically fermented/cultured milk. At our house, we use raw milk from grass fed cows to make a variety of cultured dairy products. Why raw? Dairy products that are pasteurized (that you find in the grocery store) are from grain fed, CAFO cows, and are only a source of calories and allergies!
(more on this here, here, and here-don't forget; if you are doing research make sure you find similar information in three or more places!)

Raw, grass fed milk is a natural immune builder! It is rich in the vitamin B's, is a great source of probiotics for intestinal health, and has tons of enzymes (which fight inflammation). All of this is destroyed completely when the milk is pasteurized.
(more on this here, here and here!)

OK, so back to Kefir!

Kefir is a powerful probiotic beverage. It is made by placing kefir "grains" (not really grain, it just looks like grain!) in milk and letting it stand on your counter for up to 48 hours. It looks kind of like runny yogurt when it's finished.
It can be strained, also, to make kefir cheese (similar consistency to cream cheese).

I make a 1/2 gallon of kefir at a time, and we use 2-3 C each morning in our smoothies.
Since we've been drinking kefir daily and using kombucha (more on that in a later post!), we've hardly been sick at all! In fact, I can't remember the last time I was sick since my flu back in October of last year. Proper intestinal flora (friendly bacteria) is of utmost importance to a healthy immune system. In fact, I would almost say that it's the single most valuable area of your body that you can work on being super healthy.

So, here's my recipe...sort of! I'm not really a by the books recipe kind of gal, I just cook with a little of this and a pinch of that. I'll attempt to quantify what I use!

Daily Breakfast Smoothies

2-3 C fresh homemade kefir
1-2 C frozen fruit
raw honey to taste

Blend, drink immediately!

That's the basic recipe that I always add or subtract from. I've been known to throw an avocado in (which makes it super creamy and satisfying), some raw egg yolks, aloe vera juice, kombucha, vanilla, a pinch of salt, some raw spinach, cinnamon, or whey. Not necessarily all at once!!

I will say that kefir is an acquired taste. It's a bit sour, similar to plain yogurt. At first, we had to do the "I'm sorry you don't like this, honey. It's good for your body and you need to be obedient to Mom and Dad and drink it" speech. After a while, maybe a week or so, the kids actually were asking for smoothies and my pickiest child was begging me to add avocado!
Don't give up when you are trying to introduce new, whole foods to your kids! Keep trying...sometimes it's just the "newness" that freaks them out!

my MYnd

2011-08-20T00:15:00.001-04:00

I had my first really mean, negative comment on here recently. The commenter (anonymous of course, aren't they all?) said something about hoping that my kids would develop minds of their own. Even though the comment was just an ignorant, idle insult, it got me thinking about the true definition of an independent mind and how we, as Christian parents, define that for our children.

What does "having a mind of your own" mean, really? Does it mean what it says, having a mind that is only full of your own ideas, ideals, plans, concerns, and ambitions? If you break it down that way, it sounds pretty selfish, doesn't it!

Or, does "having a mind of your own" simply mean being able to think for yourself, above influence? I think this definition is more accurate, and fits our personal goals as Christian parents much better than the first.

As followers of Christ, and as parents, we are solely responsible for the training of our children's minds and hearts. We are raising up the next generation of believers, the next leaders of our nation, the next missionaries, the next pastors. If we give in to "our own minds", we are inherently going against every command that Jesus has given us regarding how we are to live.

"Our own minds" are full of sinful, selfish desires! Not how we want our children to turn out, right? I'm sure you've seen your share of spoiled children, individuals who demand that the world revolve around them, and are horrified if they don't get everything they desire, WHEN they desire it. That, truly, is allowing your child to "have a mind of their own"!

Our goal (my husband's and mine) is to raise independent children who can think for themselves, above worldly influence, and who have keenly trained ears to the Lord's voice. We are working towards this by choosing to do several things.

First, our goal is immediate obedience. If our children can't listen and obey our voices, how can they listen to and obey the voice of the Lord? Obedience is required in ALL areas. And yes, that does include mealtimes, as I addressed in a previous post. We are obeying our heavenly Father to the best of our ability, and model obedience with a cheerful heart for our children.

Secondly, we choose to educate them here in our home. We believe that home education goes way far and above any other type of education in preparing our children for the real world. It allows them to learn how to focus during real life distractions. It allows them to learn the intricacies of relating to people outside their peer group. They are able to watch Mommy and Daddy navigating through bumpy situations regarding home repairs, or money issues, or family problems and how we deal with them. They get one on one time with their teacher, me! The list goes on and on but I'll stop now because this post is not about why we homeschool!!

Thirdly, we model for them daily prayer, Bible reading, serving others (with a good attitude!!), and other life skills that they will need when they are adults.

Fourthly, we don't help them. Yep! Not a typo. Parents who do EVERYTHING for their children are not being kind. Where will your sweet darling be when she walks out the door to college and Mommy is not there with a plate of hot eggs in the morning, or to put her freshly washed clothes away in the drawer for her? Hungry and dirty, that's where! We teach our kids life skills so they can ultimately be independent, but learn how before they step out into the wide world by themselves. After giving them the tools, we encourage them to solve quarrels between themselves on their own, or cook something on their own, or clean the bathroom by themselves, etc.

These are just a few examples of how our family is raising up independent, well-equipped children, who cling to Jesus and follow His word.

It is very prideful to say that you have only your own thoughts and ideas and follow no one's input but your own. Like it or not, the truth is that everyone will be influenced by someone, or something sooner or later in their lives. Home schooled or not. The choice is ours, then, as parents, to choose who we want to be the powerful influence in our children's lives. Who will direct their minds and hearts? A stranger? Their peers? Cartoon Newtork? Or us?

We know that we are human, and aside from the Lord's redemption and grace, are fallen sinners. If left to their own devices, children's minds will belong to the world, and the prince of darkness. Because, in reality, our minds have never been our own, and never will be! So, we choose to raise children with the mind and heart of Christ, who can think for themselves, above influence and follow the voice of Jesus.

I urge you, Christian parents, be vigilant! Seek daily to turn your children's hearts and minds towards yourself and thus towards Jesus! Be obedient and seek obedience from those precious souls entrusted to you for this short time on earth. Their minds are a battleground and the Prince of Peace must prevail.

Peachy-keen

2011-08-16T21:44:00.000-04:00

a LONG drive...

stripey fields...

getting sort of lost...

plentiful...

choosing...

tasting...

slightly tired...

getting treats...

good friends...

and our kids...

{a few days later}
cutting and soaking...

a sea of jars...

someone who has done this before...

in and out...

beautiful!

What I know...and don't!

2011-08-12T14:49:00.003-04:00

::About homeschooling::

I know

We will do it forever

God made me to be the perfect teacher for my children

I never feel adequate, but cling to that truth on a daily basis

There is not a single curriculum out there that will make you a better teacher, or make your child a better

student

All curriculum websites make them look like they might be THE ONE

Most likely they're not

Our first year I used an already-planned-out curriculum in a box

I hated it

Our second year we went eclecctic. Completely and totally off on our own.

I loved it.

Except for one thing...

Being accountable to only myself for lesson plans probably is not the best idea here, for us!

While I enjoy doing my own thing, and always change up everything, I do need someone to hold my hand for the tough bits, like buckling down each week and planning the next one!

I am writing this because I"m about to send in my notifications and book list for the year and need to organize my thoughts...

I don't know

What the coming year will hold for our family in terms of location or lifestyle

If one child needs some dramatic reading intervention

When or how to make that decision

Which direction our studies will take us

If I want to school out of a box again or not

Conversely, if I want to spend oodles of time planning or not

How to squeeze in outreach ministry efforts into our already crowded schedule. Or if I should even try.

How to make more time for myself to exercise and read my Bible

How I could be so deserving of such an amazing husband and wonderful children...but somehow here they are!

Looking forward to another great year teaching...and learning!!

in our {school} room...

2011-08-11T18:40:00.001-04:00

Ava tries hard to be like momma

Alec reads...(and plays!)

Benji works hard to learn new things...

And I {love} my turquoise table!

disLike

2011-08-03T22:32:00.004-04:00

I was recently having a conversation with someone about a meal we were planning and the topic came up of whether or not my kids liked a particular food. This person happens to have similar ideas and beliefs about food that I do, but it brought to mind a pet peeve of mine that has been growing rapidly.

In our house here is what we teach the kids about food:

God gives us food

Food does not need to taste good, but it must be healthful

Whole food is the only healthy choice

thus

we need to eat our food as close to it's natural state as possible

By making healthy choices, we are honoring God with our bodies

By making healthy choices because we are told to, not necessarily because we want to, we are being obedient to our parents

This translates occasionally into some mild mealtime battles. For most children, regardless of how aware of whole foods they are raised, trying a new food can be quite challenging. Since we are very firm in our lifestyle choice of eating whole food, we do not allow complaining, whining, or refusal to try new things.

The phrase "But I don't like it!" does not hold any currency at our table. We gently say, "I'm sorry you don't like that food. You need to eat it anyway because it's good for your body and because you need to obey your mommy and daddy."

Because we eat the way we do (which is not the norm in our country), we frequently have friends come over with children who are curious about what's on the table. Often, this scenario has played itself out in front of me:

guest child,"Mommy? What's that?"
parent, "Oh, it's such and such"
guest child, "Oh! I want to taste it!"
parent, "Oh NO, you won't like it."
or
"Oh, I don't think you should, you've never had that before."

What? "you won't like it"???!!! I really and truly can't even wrap my head around that mentality. Why in the world would you not only discourage your child's natural curiosity but also squash their desire to try WHOLE, NUTRITIOUS FOOD??

I could probably understand if it were the other way around, if I was serving up a big helping of processed grain, refined sugar, msg and high fructose corn syrup, and the parent, bless their heart, was trying to discourage tasting that. But this? Really?

(when I say "food" here, I'm referring to whole, traditional, nutritious foods)
It frustrates me and saddens me to no end to see parents putting their preconceived notions about food, or personal dislikes of a food onto their children. For example, my husband hates tomatoes. Since boys always want to be like Daddy, we are very careful not to let the boys know just how much Daddy hates tomatoes so that they will try them and develop their own opinion. All three of the kids actually don't like tomatoes right now, their choice, but we serve tomato stuff anyway and I just tell them, "Well, you're not old enough to like them, but you will when you are more grown up."

At the end of the day, our goal with our children is to accomplish the realization of a new meaning of the word "like".

Like: the ability to enjoy and eat whole, nutritious, traditional foods because they are the best choice, and God's choice, for a healthy body.

Conversely, the word "dislike" or phrase "I don't like that" translates to this:
the sinful flesh refusing to be obedient to God's design for the body, an ungrateful spirit rearing it's ugly head

So, when my children are served something they object to, their thought processes should run something like this:
Oh, this is not my favorite thing to eat. But I'll eat it anyway with a happy heart because I like foods that Mommy and Daddy tell me are healthy, and because I want to be obedient.

I do not believe in coddling, or cooking for, the appetite of my children. Occasionally we will allow them to participate in meal planning, or have a favorite meal for a special occasion. Largely speaking, though, I cook and serve what I deem to be the best, and healthiest foods for the
family, and fully expect cheerful obedience and "liking" of what I serve!

Our goal is raising kids with a grateful heart, and a taste for simple, nutritious, life-giving foods.

Grain Free Delicious!

2011-08-01T20:59:00.000-04:00

We've been grain free here since May. This post is not to share why, although I will eventually, but to share one FABULOUS recipe that will make you so delighted!

These are grain free cupcakes. The original recipe is for a nut butter muffin, and then for chocolate avocado pudding. Since I am the way I am, and can't leave anything as it is, I changed everything up a bit and made these tasty cupcakes.

I honestly can't remember where the recipes came from, so if you are reading this and it is your recipe, please leave a comment!!

Ok, so moving right along...

One thing I will say before I share the recipes is that nut butter is expensive. We generally don't use peanut butter here because of a couple family members being sensitive, and because most peanut butters contain aflatoxins, a type of toxic mold. Instead, we use almond butter or sunflower seed butter, both raw if we can find them. For us, they are healthier choices, and the extra cost is worth it.

(you can read more on this here and find healthy peanut butter here)

So are you ready? Drumroll please...

Nut Butter Cupcakes

(you can use half of the sweetner and they can just be nice, neutral muffins)

1 jar nut butter

1/2 C raw honey

3 eggs

1 tsp baking soda

2T raw apple cider vinegar or lemon juice

That's all!

Yep, that's all the ingredients! I was totally amazed the first time I made these!

Method:

Combine all ingredients except for the vinegar and mix well. You can use a whisk and some elbow grease or an electric mixer. Add vinegar or lemon juice and mix well, then pour into muffin cups or greased muffin pan. This makes 12 good sized muffins. Almond butter makes poofier muffins than peanut butter, not sure why.

Bake at 350 for around 15 min. They are done when a toothpick comes out clean.

Cool completely and then frost with...

Chocolate Avocado Frosting

2 ripe avocados

1/2 C raw honey

1/2 C organic cocoa powder

2 T fat (coconut oil or butter, melted)

1 tsp vanilla extract

Add ingredients to food processor and blend. I ended up adding a tad extra cocoa (maybe 1/4 C?) because it still tasted a bit avocado-y to me. This is super thick and is very satisfying because of the fatty avocados.

Personally, I stored these in the refrigerator. Nut butter can go rancid, and we've all seen what avocados to when exposed to air for any period of time. I just put them in an airtight container and they were fine and just as tasty right out of the fridge. Of course there weren't many left to refrigerate after my kids realized how yummy they were!

If you make this, please comment and let me know how you liked it, or if you changed it up at all!

Stuff and Nonsense

2011-07-30T09:13:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Ava was singing, "Oh my brother, Oh my brother, Oh my broooother AlecandBenji! You were born to hug and kiss me, so I loovee yooouuuu!" The boys were mortified. I thought it was adorable. She actually tried to plant one on Alec's cheek the other day on our sidewalk while they were scootering with a friend. Not a popular choice!

~~~~~~

Ava has become such a little lady, and so motherly. She hates it when the boys are crying or upset and tries to comfort them at all costs. Even when they try to hit her. It's so sweet. I really and truly hope that Jesus sees fit to bless us with one (or two or more!) more children!! My three would be so wonderful with the new baby/ies.

~~~~~~

We don't allow sleepovers. I don't enjoy hosting noisy children in the middle of the night, and we just (for many reasons) don't allow our children to sleep at other people's houses. Except family, of course...and ONE of our friends. She makes the boys go to bed at their actual bedtime! And I just feel very comfortable with the way she runs things.

Anyway, I say all that to say this:

I allowed Alec to sleep over with that particular friend on Wednesday night...and then he had a "late-over" (our compromise for no sleep overs) with another friend on Thursday night. Um, what was I thinking??? Can you say 10 year old zombie yesterday? Yeah.

Thankfully, Benji had gone off early in the morning yesterday to have his special one-on-one day with my parents, so the quarreling was non-existent. Ava was quiet because she had no one to pick a fight with, and Alec was quiet because he was asleep on his feet.

I gotta say, it was weird with only two kids...what the heck did I do before I had Ava? It was almost boring yesterday!! Haha! And just way too quiet...

I'm so thankful for my three musketeers!

I took the A's (what I call Ava and Alec in my head) to see a movie and treated them to Krispy Kreme donuts (because it's something they can't enjoy with Benji due to his allergies) and we had a good time...but I missed Benji terribly!!

I will say, though, it did give me some insight into who instigates squabbles around here. Immediately upon arrival that evening, Benji stirred it up, whining to Alec about wanting him to play Legos and yelling at Ava because she had her feet in the wrong place. In all fairness, it was nearly 8:00 and everyone was tired, but the change in dynamics between the three of them was dramatic.

I do think part of the "Betty Crocker" syndrome (always mixin' it up!) is Benji's age, and the age gaps between he and his siblings. I always think things like, "oh, we made a mistake, we should have had them just a little closer together" or stuff like that, but then am smacked in the face by the realization that God doesn't make ANY mistakes, EVER, and He is the one that planned them, not us!!!

~~~~~~

Today we are going to my aunt and uncle's house to send off a cousin of mine who got accepted into a military flight program (I think?). Something like that...

I love my two aunts and two uncles, we don't see them nearly enough. Both sets live only an hour away, but for some reason it turns into a herculean effort to get together.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing all of them. My cousin who is leaving has a wife who is newly pregnant. They are totally adorable, and LOVE our kids. My other cousin is newly married, and he and his bride are so cute, too.

It's funny to me to watch them and think we were there once...and now how much more we know now! Sometimes I think I'd like to go back...but sometimes I'm not so sure. We've come a long way, over many humps and bumps and are so much wiser now...but have still a long way to go!

~~~~~~

The picture of the sky up there is because I love the sky. All the time, no matter where we are, or what state we are in, I'm always obsessed with the sky. Perhaps it's all the beautiful colors (I never see just blue sky and white clouds...too me it's always hundreds of colors), the texture of the clouds, the changing light, the unpredictability, but sameness...I'm not sure.

Sometimes in my head I try and decide how I would paint a particular sky or cloud...and sometimes, like a child, I wonder if heaven really is up in the sky, on a cloud.

For what ever reason, the sky captivates me...

~~~~~~

Have a great weekend!

Notice the sky today...and your children...and your husband!

Once upon a time, not so long ago...

2011-07-29T09:53:00.001-04:00

My mom had recently been showing Ava old photos of my childhood. I picked up an album that had been left out and opened the cover to see what they had been looking at.

As I turned the yellowed pages, I was captured by the beauty of my mother's youth, how carefree my aunt was, the happy smiles on the faces of my grandparents. I saw the love in my dad's eyes as he cradled an infant me, and the the gummy, wet grin of my toddler brother. I revisited my grandmother and grandfather in their old house, smelled the familiar comforting smell of their store, and remembered things about my uncle.

I was suddenly captured by a wistful urge to go back...not for my sake, but for the sake of my mother. To give her a chance to snuggle my chubby baby brother again, to let her walk the beach and gather shells with my tiny hand in hers. To let her find herself back in the apple orchard with my grandma and grandpa, to help my dad plan crazy birthday parties for me and my friends. To go, just once more, back into the kitchen with HER mother and laugh as they fixed dinner.

As quickly as that urge came, it went, and was replaced with the realization that I was living those moments right now. Holding a tiny hand, laughing in the kitchen with MY mother, watching my children run to Daddy for hugs, playing with them in the sand, making an album of my own, my children's childhood memories.

How dare I push those moments aside in favor of selfish pursuits?

You can never go back...only forward...and hope that you are using up every bit of time you are given making the best, most beautiful memories you can.

{my mother and I, on the beach at Cape May, on the east coast}

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T04:33:00.000-04:00

When you go to the family farm...

2011-07-25T03:48:00.001-04:00

You never know how dirty you'll get...

or what you'll find growing...

You might find some pretty things to photograph...

Your parents will probably have fun...

Your kids might learn something new...

or hone a valuable skill like waiting...

There could be treats and a snapping fire...

and your usually obedient dog might, just maybe, need a leash!

here comes the SUN

2011-07-14T11:21:00.000-04:00

Good friends, good food, good weather

smiling faces, tinkling laughter

blessings from the One who knows what is best

It will go all too quickly...

How do you...

2011-07-13T10:29:00.000-04:00

...move a mountain?

You could stare at it a while in hopes that it will disappear...

You could ignore the inevitable and just lay down...

You could grab a pair of these and get to workin'...

and try to be just like Daddy...

Or you could play "giant" and just call it a day!

last weekend

2011-07-07T15:26:00.000-04:00

we packed this

and this

and set off to explore

to find what was in the water

what was on the water

how to move the water

what was on land

and how to have a really good time no matter how hot we are!

company for dinner

2011-07-05T16:40:00.025-04:00

hot kitchen,

the loud fan lies to my skin

chopping board

silver knife, emerald lettuce

my hair dances in the breeze and sticks to my face

ruby red watermelon drips on the floor

fragrant onion sings in the pan

salty slivers of anchovy

creamy golden egg yolk

big yellow bowl on my black counter top

forks for 12

bon appetit!

two black puppies

7 happy children

plastic cups sweating on the table

sharing memories, making new ones

steamy summer night

bare feet picking up gravel on the sidewalk

car doors interrupt the humid silence

voices drift across the dark dry grass

let's do it again soon!

happy INDEPENDANCE day!

2011-07-04T19:28:00.000-04:00

Sh-hhhhh!

2011-06-22T22:42:00.000-04:00

this is a {quiet} sport!

talking is kept to a minimum

Ava and I clown around quietly

using bits and pieces to make a forest princess

spying on a quiet spider

and keeping the other eye on a quiet dog

unCONVENTIONal

2011-06-20T06:42:00.003-04:00

Comfy (but stylish) shoes...check!
Rolling cart...check!
Water bottle and snacks...check!
Notebook, pen, highlighter...check!
Checkbook...check!
Registration forms and directions...check!
Amber necklace to prevent headaches...and Tylenol in case it doesn't work...check!
Willingness to be out of my comfort zone...check!

This past weekend, I went to my fourth homeschool convention. I had already been to one a few months back with my husband (we go annually, just the two of us, as an excuse to get away alone and as a way to take time to re-assess our path for our children's education) so this was a girls-only weekend.

I went with my two friends Barbara and Polly (names have been changed to protect their high-profile identities...*grin*) in a borrowed black Mercedes. It's been AGES since I've been on a road trip with just friends and well, it was awful! Just kidding...it was AWESOME!!!!!!!!

After spending 24/7/365 with my three perfect, cherubic children (Hm-mmmm), getting away with some of my girlfriends was like a pickle when you're pregnant! and yes, I will be using a LOT of exclamation points in this post...it was that fun!!!!!!!

Barbara (a homeschool newbie) booked a delightful little suite for us in a hotel situated at the side of rushing river with rocky outcroppings and waterfalls, and right down the block from a quaint outdoor shopping mall that just happened to be having a street fair that night. (!!!!) Delightful!!!

Polly and I, being homeschool veterans (well, Polly more so than I) were anxious to make sure that Barbara's first homeschool convention was as, um, informative? as possible. Between the walks to find yummy restaurants, phone calls from our husbands and children, unsuccessful efforts to find moist chocolate cake, and getting lost on the highway, we managed to exhaust poor Barbara's ears with endless prattle about this speaker and that, and all the wonderful curriculum we have used.

We also did actually ATTEND the convention, spent some money (ack!) and learned some things. God's timing is perfect and allowed Barbara to get some answers to some difficult questions she had about a child with a reading issue and to feel very encouraged and ready to press forward. Polly was able to attend a session covering the topic of "motivating high-schoolers"... Mwa-HAHAHA! So glad I'm not there yet, but so glad she was there so she can tell me what to do when that day arrives!

As for me, well, let's just say that the Lord did not meet me at the convention itself.

He met me in the lounge area of our suite, in the form of Godly counsel from my friends.
He met me in the hallway of the convention center with the knowledge that NO, I didn't need to attend a particular session because what He was teaching me was far better and perfectly suited to my family.
He met me in the perfect, breezy weather...and in the beauty of the downtown architecture.
He met me in the delicious food, in the pleasant company, and in the respite from caring for others.
He showed up in the public restroom as I watched my friend Barbara ask the cleaning lady if her day was going well and she responded with a surprised smile on her face.
I saw His face in the faces of the children of large families taking care of one another in the rotunda while their parents attended conference sessions.
He whispered words of love and affirmation to my soul as I wandered around the vendor hall realizing (for the first time) that nothing I could buy there would make me a better parent or teacher.

He met me UNconventionally...at the convention.

{If you've never been to your local home educators convention, I would encourage you to try it out! Even if you are NOT a home educator, as long as you are an engaged parent, you will benefit! There are so many parenting and discipling resources there, and just general support for your job raising up the next generation, it's worth a trip, at least once! And who knows...you may have an unCONVENTIONal meeting of your own!}

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-15T09:21:00.001-04:00

Are You Getting in Your Own Way?

2011-06-08T08:52:00.000-04:00

That curious contradiction of "dying to oneself"...

The person inside of you dying so that you can be reborn...

Getting in your own way, stopping yourself from overcoming, achieving, listening, bending, being humbled...

My selfish wants and needs are very often a loud, ugly voice, crowding my thoughts and blocking my ears to the truth

Over the past months, I've been slowly, very slowly dying inside. Rejoice with me over the things I've learned and the new person God is allowing me to become!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My desire to have an easy to feed household has been snuffed in favor of having a healthy household. No longer do I take shortcuts in the kitchen, ignoring possible allergens or sensitivity triggers. We have now been largely grain-free for close to two months, following loosely to the GAPS diet parameters.

The Lord lead me to this place of sacrifice in the kitchen, and my reward is more peaceful children, not clamoring for food every five minutes, more calm, less apt to tantrum over tiny things. I feel amazing, I actually get a hungry feeling (haven't had proper digestion in YEARS) and nearly all my fibromyalgia-type symptoms have vanished. (I will share more on these health issues in our family later.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My desire to have a just for me work area has changed in favor of having a just for school work area. After struggling with the kids over disrespect and disregard for the seriousness of school, the Lord impressed on my heart the need to completely designate ONE room in the house as a classroom.

Taking apart my dedicated art/sewing table/workspace was like ripping my arm off. Tears flowed, but redemption came. Obedience that requires sacrifice bears delicious fruit!!! We now have a beautiful turquoise table and orange and white chairs in our new classroom and the children sit peacefully around it and do their work, largely without complaint.

{quick note on this: while having a dedicated classroom may improve your personal home educating experience, I'm by no means saying that this is a cure all or surefire way to get your kids to settle down and work! This is just the way obedience in that area looked for our particular family. I'll share more on this later, also}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My desire to "look pretty" upon leaving the house has been replaced by a desire to "look practical" and be on time! I still don't leave the house in pj's or sweats with mismatched shoes but I've left with no or minimal makeup or with just a simple braid or ponytail in my hair in order to place more priority on getting my children out the door peacefully.

This is an area that is difficult for me, due to my extremely low self-esteem and self consciousness over my body size. Over the years I've grown in this area, but my voice inside still kept shouting loud enough that I couldn't really hear what the Lord was trying to gently whisper to my soul...

"You are precious in my sight, you are beautiful in my eyes, you are unique, no one has or will be created like you, so there is NO COMPARISON! Just be, and listen to me...my voice is truth!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My desire to have obedient children so that I could feel gratified and in control has been replaced with a desire to see them turn their hearts toward Jesus at all costs. The cry of my heart to the Lord during discipline issues has changed from "Lord, help ME know what to do here!" to "Lord, help this child to listen to you! Open this child's ears to what you have to say through me!" I can now hear this truth, softly spoken in my heart...

"Discipling and disciplining your children has nothing whatsoever to do with you, you are merely a tool placed in their lives to enable them to learn of Me and hear my voice speaking to their hearts. It doesn't matter if you are being physically or emotionally assaulted by your child, your feelings are not the issue. Their hearts are infinitely more important!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These all big areas! Big enough to write at least a whole post on each...which I may do at some point.

For now, I'm humbly thankful to my patient Heavenly Father for lovingly and gently leading me on these paths.
This is only the beginning of my adventure in dying but it's a good start...

When I'm tempted to argue with myself, or trip over my own feet, my turquoise table is my ever-present reminder that...

Obedience that requires sacrifice bears good fruit!

Plans

2011-03-06T18:37:00.001-05:00

I am planning our week of school right now. Sitting hunched over our messy desk in my cold office, pouring over books, copying and pasting scripture into Word documents, making spelling lists.

In the other room, my husband is coaching the kids (and himself) through our family chore list posted on our white board on the pantry door. At the same time he's fixing dinner. These things are not his forte, but he's graciously navigating through.

I can hear the frustration in his voice as he redirects Alec to tidy up his bedroom, and offers Ava a banana. Benji is sidetracked again and playing with toys that just got put away.

I struggle to listen to Jesus voice of direction over the noise of life happening in the rest of the house; the game on TV in the front room, Pandora on my computer, Ava's singing, dishes clanking in the kitchen.

I suddenly hear a tiny thought at the back of my mind. It's my Abba Father saying, "Stop! Encourage the others that I see them. I know the things they do, I value their time spent raising up the next generation. I will honor their choices, I will prosper their offspring..."

So I stop, tab over to Blogger, and write.

This is for all of you who are sitting, even now, planning for your children. Planning math lessons, planning college visits, planning field trips, planning play dates, planning book lists, sports, meals, character training, history studies...

You may feel like everything you do is minutia, unnoticed, pointless. At the end of the day you may feel like you did nothing because your house is a disaster and your children are filthy. You may hear a voice saying, "Don't bother reading that to them, they're not listening anyway".

I know I've felt all this and more.

I'm here to tell you that IT. DOES. MATTER. It all matters. Every little bit.

And, it's completely unimportant who sees you do it all, or what anyone thinks about how you are doing it. Jesus sees. He notices when you wipe tears or bandage another skinned knee. He notices when you chose to discipline instead of take the easy way out and ignore. He rejoices when you read His word with them. He sees you when you are weary and your shoulders sag. He delights in you because you are His, not because you are working harder.

That is enough for me. I don't have to be enough for my family or for my children because He is. He's already made plans. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

As you sit making plans for your children, know that the Lord has plans for you.

He sees you and He loves you and he rejoices over you!

It will

2011-03-04T16:30:00.000-05:00

fade...

This image in my mind
of childhood innocence,
of imagination come to life

The sounds of laughing
and little voices singing made up songs

Beautiful naivete
a precious gift

Mine to nurture and protect
to cherish and watch grow

Mine to release one day
all too soon...

This is why my camera never leaves my side
why I teach myself how to do it better
why I offer to photograph memories for others
why capturing images is my passion

at {Nana's} house...

2011-03-01T20:18:00.000-05:00

books come alive...

play-doh fascinates everyone...

creativity blossoms...

everyone is more relaxed...

and the ordinary becomes exciting...

beauty in the mundane

2011-02-27T23:10:00.000-05:00

I think part of the reason I haven't been blogging lately is because I"m attempting my first Project 365. In case you are not an aperture-obsessed girly like I am and have no idea what I"m talking about, Project 365 is taking a photo every day for one year.

I'm not sure where I"m going with this photography thing, but I consider myself a serious hobbyist at this point, and am eager to improve my skills and learn more. If I have a free moment and am not reading about raw milk and soaked grains, I'm reading some sort of photography website, pouring over Flickr galleries, or drooling over e-course descriptions.

Some folks who do a 365 have themes for it, or you can borrow ideas for themes from online collections. The themes vary from ideas like "underneath" to ideas like "romance". Being naive about the reality of taking one post-worth photo EVERY DAY for 356 days, I pooh-poohed the idea of weekly theme suggestions and plowed ahead with my own idea. Beauty in the mundane. The extraordinary in the ordinary. Well, it's harder than it sounds!

For the first month or so, I just did my typical "oh look, Ava's painting, how cute" shots. They're fine, there's nothing wrong with capturing daily activities. Then I got bored. We don't go out all that often, and when we do it's just to the grocery or a thrift store or something and I'm certainly NOT lugging my giant camera in there! Plus, it's been freakin' freezing outside, so my summer-lovin' self wasn't too anxious to do any nature photography either.

I hit a wall, started taking pictures of dumb stuff like the digital readout on our stove, actually forgot one day *gasp*, hit a really low point with a photo of our bedroom TV remote, and then something happened. It was like a switch flipped...Voila! All these ideas started flooding my mind. I got some great shots like a long-exposure of my mom's crystal punch bowl, and a weird pants-burning experiment we did in our kitchen sink!

Anyways...I'm working on a separate blog for all my 365's...and working on mentally separating that project from my regular blogging. I've taken hundreds of photos in the past several months and they need to be seen!!!

Where...

2011-02-23T19:14:00.000-05:00

in the world have I been?

I've been right here,

teaching

learning

smiling

crying

hoping

wishing

thinking

praying

working hard

planning

training

talking

shopping

returning

sorting

blending

soaking

kissing

hugging

resting...

everything but blogging!

a rest is good...but now I'm ready to be back...

strangely enough, I've gained more followers during my hiatus (hello, everyone!)

i have about a million photos to unload and share

and new recipes and foodie goodness to share, too...

now I have to find time to post it all

because I'm still doing all of the above!!

{tight} strings

2011-01-29T11:16:00.001-05:00

During the hustle and bustle of a couple weeks ago, I made this carelessly framed, but thoughtfully taken photograph of a new phase in our life.

Ava was invited to a birthday party of a little friend from church. It was titled, "a non-sleeping slumber party". Cute, right?

I was looking forward to taking her and staying to watch the party. But, as circumstances changed that weekend, I had to decide if I'd rather have her miss the party or get a ride with a friend.

I was really sad to miss the party, and it felt so strange to have a friend come pick up my baby and take her to a party, but that's the choice I opted for.

The girls were asked to wear pajamas, and bring a pillow, sleeping bag or other sleeping accessories. Ava opted for the pajamas and her peacock...and a large gift bag!

When the time came for her to leave, I helped her get buckled in and kissed her. It felt like something ripping away as the van pulled out of my driveway.

She returned safely a couple hours later, all smiles, rosy cheeks and excitement spilling over.

All was well...

As a home educating parent, I am so used to seeing everything my kids do. I take them to their classes and field trips and teach them here. There's little they do or engage in that I'm not present for. This is partly by default, but partly by design. But that's getting into another issue for another post!

The point is, as hard as it may be, I think it's a good thing (for us homeschoolers who are perpetually with our children) to allow (on a carefully chosen, carefully timed basis) our precious children time away from us to experience the world and form opinions on their own.

What about you? Are you a home educator who is with her kids 24/7? Do you allow your children to have play dates at other houses?

He's...

2011-01-27T14:23:00.001-05:00

SEVEN this month!

For me, they're always my "babies" till they're five

There's something that happens when they turn five

and I can see the older child in them emerging

Benji's older child is coming more slowly than Alec's did

But he wears SEVEN well...

Right now, he

loves Legos...just a tiny bit (Ha!)

totally loves both his big brother

and his little sister

is only casually interested in the new puppy

is more than casually interested in whales

began to read by himself

(rewarding fruit for momma for all my home education efforts!)

tested positive for the first time on grass-fed, raw cow's milk

(more on this here and here and here)

still gives me hugs and says "I love you Mommy" all day

is developing into his own personality instead of just a shadow of Alec

...it's fun to watch!

continues to be fascinated and enjoy all things food related,

despite his allergies

(I've been wondering for quite some time where this passion will go)

thanks Jesus for "the angels" every day when we pray

still loves to snuggle

We thank Jesus for you, Boo Bear!

Happy SEVENth birthday, Benji!

just {wondering}...

2011-01-26T22:41:00.002-05:00

if anyone else feels this way...

At the end of the day I'm usually exhausted (except for right now, it's nearly 11pm and I'm still up blogging!) If I've managed to cook dinner, and sit down to eat it with my family, the tiredness hits me full on. I suddenly feel like I have cement blocks in the back pockets of my jeans keeping me in my chair (or maybe that was the brownie I snacked on earlier! Ha!)

After the plates are emptied and bellies filled, everyone runs off to play. Husband on the computer, kids upstairs with toys. Then there I sit. At a crumb covered table staring at dirty dishes and the remains of a hurriedly cooked meal. Sometimes they remember to take their plate to the sink, and sometimes I remember to call them back to do it.

Most of the time, though, I just sit there in a daze, those cement blocks getting heavier and heavier, along with my eyelids. When I finally pry myself off of the chair and stagger over to the sink, I realize that I'm completely and utterly alone. For the first time. All day.

At first I"m elated. Ya-hoo! Me time, finally. Then I realize, Hey! Wait a minute, I"m alone! I cooked and cleaned all day and fed them a million times and now I'm alone and they're off having a good time!

Then the fight in my head begins:

Dang it, I want help!

But they're playing so nicely I"ll leave them alone.

No, they really should come back and bring their plates to the sink.

Wait, where's Marvin?

Do I hear the TV on?

WHAAAT? Is he just lounging on the couch watching TV while I slave away here in the kitchen?

Didn't he eat the food I cooked? What gives him the right to not help?

But... he's probably tired...he has been at work all day...

I shouldn't say anything, I don't want to be the nagging wife

but Dang it! I want help!

If I don't speak up I'll just be the victim and bitterness will take root

But wait, I should be grateful that he even has a job and that I even have a kitchen to cook in and food to cook in it and a sink to wash those dishes in, I could be washing dishes in the Nile,

for heaven's sake!

So...I end up doing the dishes and clean up alone, trying really hard to be thankful, but still fuming inside about this domestic injustice that I"m forced to undergo

Has anyone else been there done that?

How do you cope?

Fruit

2011-01-23T21:57:00.001-05:00

We all know the old saying, "It's like apples and oranges". It's meant to remind us to be mindful of what we compare. But, despite their apparent differences...they are both fruits, right? And both round (ish)...and both grow on trees, and both have seeds inside, skin on the outside. I'll stop there.

The point is, despite the negative connotations of comparison, or more specifically, keeping up with the you-know-who's, there is something profoundly healthy in the apples and oranges query. How would we know the difference between the two if we didn't hold them side by side and have a good look? How would we know which tasted better to us if we didn't break them open and sample what's inside? We might miss out on something tasty if we ran the other way because we didn't want to compare which suited us better.

I was inspired to this notion by a recent visit with a friend of mine. She's also a home educating parent, and has children similar ages to mine. She had mentioned that she teaches her two youngest a Montessori-based preschool lesson for a couple hours each morning while her two oldest do independent school work. I was intrigued by the notion of separate dedicated learning times for the youngest, and have always loved the Montessori philosophy.

In our exchange of emails to set up a "school date" where I could come observe what she was doing, the issue of comparison reared it's ugly head. "Now, remember" she kindly admonished, "my parents helped us pay for a lot of our supplies and we've worked for quite a while getting all this set up".

When I arrived at her house several mornings later, I was slightly in awe of her well-appointed home classroom. But I assured her that even though I was comparing, it was for seemingly different reasons than most. I use comparison as a learning tool, and don't allow it to feed feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

I think so many times, we allow the gift of contrast, of difference in similarity to overwhelm our senses. We forget that being with people who are like us but are walking through their lives differently is a delightful opportunity to experience something new! We need to rejoice in seeing a familiar challenge conquered in an unfamiliar way.

I soaked up all I could that morning. No feelings of guilt, of "Oh, I should be doing better" or "Oh, my kids should be learning this too". Just clear-headed evaluation. We do it this way, she does it that way. Our way needs a little tweaking, is there anything she is doing that would enhance what we already have? Or sometimes, when I'm comparing to learn, I might even say to myself, "Oh my goodness! I"m sure glad we're NOT doing that! I like our way so much better!"

Comparing apples to oranges for the right reasons bears fruit. The delicious, juice-down-your-chin fruit of knowledge and self-discovery! I'm thankful to my friend for sharing her morning, her heart, and for giving me the opportunity to realize what a powerful thing comparison can be.

What about you? Does the word comparison make you shiver and crawl further into your shell? Or does it make you strain with anticipation to see what you'll learn next?

a moment

2011-01-20T21:48:00.003-05:00

sounds muffled

patio chairs sit askew

chilly white cushions host a ghostly party

night
gray
white

shadows soft

crunching sound of a salty road

puppy moves, a black silhouette

footprints crisp

sky dark velvet

solitary

but not
alone

a moment quiet to breathe

nose grows cold

fingers tingle

wiggling damp fur in my arms

I head slowly back to the warm

This {morning}

2011-01-15T12:16:00.017-05:00

{doing}

giving baths to 3

hosting two overnight guests

cooking eggs, pancakes, toast

serving 4 plus a puppy

wiping toast crumbs off the black counter top

taking the puppy out for the third time

cleaning up shredded newspapers

phone calls to the parents of the overnight guests

finally eating my breakfast right before I fix lunch

visiting with a grandparent

making plans for this afternoon

mediating a quarrel

mediating another quarrel

and another one...

getting Ava ready to go to a birthday party (in her pajamas!)

confiscating markers

trimming nails

finding shoes

{on my mind}

missing Alec while he's at a sleepover

wondering if my friend is still pregnant

wishing I was working out instead of cleaning the kitchen

thinking about how good I've felt the past two days not eating any grain

hoping Marvin will get home early from work so we can have some family time

wondering if God will give us another baby

telling myself that winter really is a beautiful time of year

remembering that I need to take my Project 365 picture for the day

reciting our memory verse for the week in my head when I'm tempted to complain

remembering I need to mail out birthday invitations

can't believe Benji is turning 7 already!

sad as a friend picks Ava up to take her to the party...my little girl is so grown up!

thanking God for so many blessings,

sometimes coming in the form of hard work and opportunities to be joyful always!

puppy {love}

2011-01-10T00:03:00.001-05:00

we couldn't stand being without a dog

so...
we did something about it!

Ruger joined our family on Friday night

nighttime is NOT an ideal time to pick up a puppy

but we made it work

he is a 9 week old German Shepherd

he's very calm

and is learning fast

I can't wait till the potty-training phase is over!

winter is not a friendly season to be dashing outside every 15 minutes

with a wiggly puppy

I miss Ani terribly still

Ruger doesn't bark at outside noises yet

but barked at Ava when she came sneaking downstairs yesterday

He's a sweetie though...

and "talks" when we pick him up to snuggle

my dad teases that if we pick him up enough

our arms will get so strong that when he's full grown 90 pounds

we'll still be able to lift him!

I say we DON"T want a 90 pound lap dog!

the trainer might come next week to remind us what to do with this blank canvas of a puppy

I hope I can remember everything she tells me!

Annika

2011-01-05T18:02:00.000-05:00

Monday night we said goodbye to our precious companion, Ani.

We had gotten her as a puppy right before I found out I was pregnant with Alec. Correctly bred German Shepherds are known for their loyalty and protective nature. She was and she fit our family perfectly.

She was gentle and motherly towards the children, welcoming each new baby as if it was her own. She would run in the backyard with them, and would instinctively "herd" them, too!

She slept upstairs in the boy's room, she was my ears when I was in the back of the house and couldn't hear the door, she kept door-to-door salesmen in their place, she laid at my feet if I stayed up late working on the computer. She cleaned up our food messes on the floor, reminded us to keep the trash can emptied and put away, chased critters out of our garden, and received lots of lovin'.

We had noticed her slowing down over the past couple months, but she was not sick or in pain at all, just slower and sleepier. Monday evening we heard the back door bang and sent Alec to let her outside. He found her collapsed on the floor, unable to move. She lifted her head apologetically when I came, but still did not rise.

We moved her to the kitchen on a comfortable pad and called my parents and Marvin's mom, all of whom were tremendously fond of Ani. She lifted her head once when each of them came in, and then did not move again.

We all sat around her for about another 30 minutes and petted her and soothed her as she passed away. It was the absolute best way to lose a pet. No sickness, no pain, just peacefulness and care from us.

The kids cried buckets while we buried her next to our other dog and cat.

The next day was dreadful. The house seemed so empty and quiet, despite my three children. Ava cried for Ani on and off throughout the day, and the boys carried her collar around. I had to make them put it away after a while because the tinkling sound of it made me think Ani was coming into the room.

Today was awful, too. We came and went and there was no wagging tail to greet us, no one to let out into the backyard, no barking when the mailman came. Just total stillness.

There will never be another dog like her, we will always miss her terribly.

Thank you, Ani, for worming your way into my heart. I will never forget you.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-01-05T15:55:00.001-05:00

no Whining this time!

2011-01-03T14:57:00.000-05:00

After a late night planning session yesterday, we are back up and rolling with our winter session of home school. This time around, I made checklists for all three kids instead of just for Alec. I like to give him a checklist so that the expectations are all laid out, and he can work independently without me having to remind him every 5 minutes what he's supposed to be doing.

The extra checklists for Benji and Ava were tremendously helpful this morning, it helped me to stay on track and know exactly when I was finished with them and they liked checking off each box as it was completed.

We also tried a tip I heard from a friend: I first spent about half an hour doing preschool activities with Ava, while Benji and Alec worked independently in the other room. Alec helped Benji if he got stuck reading something, but other than that they worked on their own, with the knowledge that I was unavailable to them until preschool was over.

After that, I sat with the boys and checked over their work, or helped them complete things they had gotten stuck on. There was a little too much of that for my liking, but as time goes on they will hopefully get more used to working like that and will complete more on their own.

Next we had lunch and afterward Ava watched a movie for her quiet time while I did science and history with the boys. We got a late start, this being our first day "back to normal" after the two week battle with the flu, but all in all I think the schooling part of the day went well.

Now, on to the afternoon, with housework, photo editing, and babysitting! We'll see how this part of the day goes...

The Post in which I Whine Unabashedly in hopes that I'll Feel Better Afterwards

2010-12-27T12:05:00.000-05:00

I started feeling it coming on Monday. Like so many persistent door-to-door sales people, it kept knocking deep down in my chest all day long. Monday night it had broken down the door, and Ava had succumbed also. By Tuesday, Ava and I were officially down with the flu, and by Wednesday so was Alec.

In a neatly staggered line of dominoes, four of the five of us got it, one by one, until by Thursday EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE WAS SICK...except Marvin. Who happened to be taking the week off for our family's Christmas break.

We missed out on:

~a trip to IKEA I was supposed to take with one of my girlfriends

~a guys-only trip to the shooting range for Marvin

~our movie date with the boys to see the new Narnia film

~trips to the grocery store for food for Christmas dinner

~attending Christmas Eve church

~our annual big fondue dinner on Christmas Eve with my in-laws and the kids cousins

~my favorite part of Christmas; staying up late Christmas Eve wrapping presents with Marvin

~Christmas dinner with my parents and brother

Christmas morning was less than nice. The kids took turns being cranky, and I still had that After the Flu Paralyzed Feeling. The picture at the top says it all. Fortunately (we thought) the boys had each gotten a large Lego set, and so would have something to keep themselves occupied. Unfortunately, Alec was still so tired from being sick that he broke down into tears many times before the sets were finished.

Marvin basically spent his entire week of vacation taking temperatures, dosing out elderberry syrup and vitamin C, wiping snotty noses, cooking, doing laundry, mediating quarrels, cleaning up vomit and diarrhea, and, well, I think we get the idea. He basically spent his break being me. While I spent the week being sick.

Honestly, I can't think of anything nice that happened last week. I can almost always think of something good in any situation, but this one is really challenging. It basically sucked. On many levels. And now it's all over, Marvin is back at work, and I'm left with toppling piles of Christmas all over the house. And I still don't feel good. And Benji still doesn't feel good. And I'm in a bad mood...

So...

if you read to the end of this post, thanks for listening to me whine...

don't feel like you have to make me feel better about it...

I just wanted to vent.

2010-12-23T06:35:00.001-05:00

{stopped}

2010-12-22T15:49:00.000-05:00

in the middle of the hustle

everything stops

tissues pile up

the teapot whistles

family plans canceled

thermometer begs for time off

momma's heart aches to take care of the little ones

but her body aches too much to get out of bed

daddy works hard to fill in

gets rewarded with sweet hugs

hopefully not nasty germs

wakeful nights

3 feverish bodies

one trip to the laundromat with a soiled comforter

living life's hard moments with grace and gentleness

we appreciate what we have

and

wait patiently to come out the other side

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-15T05:13:00.000-05:00

La Vie En Rose...

2010-12-11T12:26:00.000-05:00

...life through rose colored glasses...

with cake

and cookies

friends

and presents

we celebrated

the fourth year

of this little girl's life...

there was pinkness

there were giggles

caused by him

there was an elegant tea, served little-girl (and boy) style

there was singing

and grouchy brothers

wrapping paper to tear

gifts to love

thank-you's to say

surprises galore

and memories to be made

it was perfect!

Looking In

2010-12-10T16:32:00.001-05:00

Since last year I've felt a bit out of place. My best friend moved, we changed churches, another close friend started school full time, we began homeschooling, I was pregnant with friends and lost my baby while theirs survived...a few among many other socially-uprooting changes.

Change is fine (and strangely, sometimes fun) for me, and up till today, I thought I was handling it in stride. Until I was asked to participate in an "extracurricular" activity at our new church. I said yes, hoping that since two of the other two ladies involved were also home educators with kids similar ages to mine, it would be a good opportunity to get to know more moms like me.

The morning started with me getting there 30 minutes after everyone else due to a potty accident. Normally that wouldn't have bothered me but for some reason, the fact that everyone already had a job and I didn't made me feel awkward. I pushed negative feelings aside and jumped in anyways.

We were decorating the church for Christmas, and as the morning went on, the church looked brighter and my spirits grew dimmer. It seemed like everyone was involved in a conversation I wasn't. I kept trying but eventually gave up and resigned myself to making wreath bows in silence.

It was early afternoon by the time we finished and by then I had the odd sensation of someone viewing zoo animals behind glass. You're there with them but not part of their world.

The kids were hungry because it was way after lunch and no one seemed to care. I was frantically trying to put the last of 6 wreaths on the wall when Ava knocked some stuff off a table. As I bent to pick it up, she leaped onto my back and hung on like a monkey. Thrown completely off balance, I fell backward, pinning her under me on the carpet. She cried, and I felt like crying too!

Finally it was over and we hurried to the car. The other two women happen to be neighbors, and as I buckled Ava in, I heard snippets of their conversation. The way people talk when their lives are blended. It made my heart ache. It felt a little sad to be left out of their lunch plans, but more than that, it was a painful reminder of what I no longer have.

As I drove home, I was overcome by the feelings of desolation welling up in my heart. As my mind searched frantically for a memory of a place that I do fit in, my heart reminded me, one by one, that none of those places exist any longer. I felt completely uprooted, an orphan at a family reunion, a weed in a field of blooms.

Not long ago, I had taken my feelings of loneliness to Jesus, and in the days following my lament He had literally brought to my door many of my friends! I think maybe 4 or more in a couple of days! It was very apparent what He was trying to show me, as I daily reminded myself that He is always near and that I'm never truly alone.

Falling off of that horse into the dirt of what happened to me today was hard. Really hard. I've slowly come to realize that I'm the one preventing close connections. Seemingly forever scarred by the painful changes of the past year, my heart is unwilling to be shared in such a way again. It has had all the breaking it can take.

It will take some major courage to be vulnerable again, to be willing to risk loss, disappointment and heartbreak. Jesus is the only perfect friend, the only one that won't move away, won't leave us out of lunch plans, won't forget our birthdays, and won't gossip behind our backs and will love us unconditionally.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

~Alfred Lord Tennyson

what SHOULD be happening!? (part 3)

2010-12-09T08:04:00.004-05:00

The reality is this:

what really happens in my head/on a good day and what REALLY happens on an "off"day

are both OK...

and should be happening...
and here's why:

I think as moms or, more specifically, homeschooling moms, we tend to be so hard on ourselves. Heaping up the guilt if the day goes down the toilet, inwardly berating ourselves because we failed once again to live up to our nearly impossible standards

I tend to hold up a perfect, shiny ideal to reach for every day, only to cripple myself as I make the leap. God calls us to only hold HIM up as our goalpost and He guarantees that if we reach, He'll catch us. Striving for anything but that is actually a form of idolatry and we are certain to miss the mark.

This is not to say that we shouldn't set earthly, human-type goals and schedules for ourselves also. The Creator loves order; we see it evident in the regular cycles of the seasons, the ebb and flow of the tides and weather, and in the very precise relationship all living things have to one another. The ultimate scheduler, He created our earth, the sun, moon and solar system, and all living beings in an order, some on each day.

We don't read in the Bible that whales and monkeys and the stars were created on the fifth day and then at the end of the day He threw in some fruit trees and water because He realized the whales needed a habitat and the monkeys needed something to eat!!! There was a distinct purpose and order to it all.

Conversely, there should be a distinct purpose and order to our days as well. As parents, we are called to teach our children matters of the heart as well as matters of the home. Children thrive in an environment saturated with routine, order and peacefulness. Living with purpose, with a goal in sight, is the only way to accomplish this.

As a mother of three, and a home educator, my need for order is intense.
Thus, my need for the stability that only the Savior can bring is paramount.
Want to know how I accomplish this balance between heart and home?

As anyone with children knows, routines and needs are always shifting. When I sense a shift coming (ie: potty training, starting a new level of education, change in Daddy's work schedule, character issues arising, dropping a nap, etc.) I begin to go through those transition days in prayer. Each bumpy moment is an opportunity for Jesus to show me what needs to be done instead.

After a week or two of prayer time, reflection, note-taking, and conversation with my husband, I prayerfully create a new goal, a new schedule, that better suits our new needs. It usually takes me about a week to get everyone in the groove of the new routine; it's not usually far from the old one, just a few tweaks.

The day I mentioned first (part 1) does actually happen more often than not, with the exception of the kids remembering on their own to dress and bring down their laundry! It surprises me every time! I would think by now they would remember that we typically go about our day fully clothed...perhaps a teaching trip to the grocery in their pajamas is in order...

Anyway, the point to all this is this:

If you are a parent, do not let life just "happen" to you on a daily basis. Let your days be characterized by purposeful living, meaningful actions, and a Christ-centered schedule or routine. There is freedom in boundaries; knowing that your day is already planned frees your mind to concentrate on other more precious things.

When you do need a break, recognize the need and deliberately announce your intentions. There is nothing worse for a momma's psyche than to sneak around the whole day avoiding the fact that you need a rest and are not able to keep your routines in place. Learn to recognize the difference between laziness and apathy (and boot those two nasty sisters out the door the minute they arrive!) and a genuine need for a rest.

It's OK to take a conscious break, to just sit and let things happen around you. God rested after He worked for 6 days, under the most amazing schedule we've ever seen! Intentional rest is good, laziness is not.

As I type this to share with you all, I am sitting on the couch. It's 9:45 am, I'm still in my sweaty workout clothes, freezing with bare arms. The kids gulped smoothies and then ran outside to play in the snow. We're not taking a break today, just deviating from the schedule a bit.

I'm a bit sleepy from a midnight trip up the stairs to change a bed and pajamas on a little girl who coughed so hard she vomited! I don't want to keep going today, cozy blankets and a movie sound great...BUT...I can keep going, so I will, just a bit more slowly!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

for help with scheduling, Christian parenting, or purposeful living, visit these great websites:

http://www.flylady.net/index.asp

http://www.generationcedar.com

http://www.titus2.com/

disclaimer: these are just a few of the resources I personally use, I am in no way affiliated with them or their websites

what REALLY happens! (part 2)

2010-12-08T10:17:00.002-05:00

So...as promised...here's what REALLY happens...( but really and truly not all the time!!!)

I forget to bring my phone to bed and it goes off in the kitchen, reminding Marvin to come and try to wake me up.

About 30 minutes later I slowly sit up and turn on my bedside lamp.
About 10 minutes later I stand up and stare resentfully at the warm bed.

After pulling an unwashed pair of workout pants out of the dirty bin, I crawl around on the floor for a while trying to find my other shoe.

Finally dressed, I grunt at my perky husband, toss wet clothes from the day before in the dryer, and decide that the toilet really isn't that dirty since I wiped it down the day before.

By this time, it's after 7...I head out to the kitchen and stare at the sink, wishing I had stayed up just a little later the night before and cleaned up just a little bit better.

I stand absentmindedly in the kitchen until Marvin leaves for work, and then go turn on the TV...yes, to work out!

As soon I find my profile and start the first exercise, all three pajama-clad kids appear at once, in various stages of grouchiness or starvation.

I send the boys right back up the stairs to dress and bring down their laundry while I get Ava some "Foodie". While she eats and the boys argue about who is unloading the dishwasher, I zone out with my shoulder presses and lunges.

After 67 interruptions to my workout, I abandon the thought of any personal hygiene sessions and fix breakfast.

The morning progresses downhill swiftly from there, with me remaining in my sweaty sports bra and the school work finishing up around 1(but only because I decided to skip a subject or two!).

In the afternoon, we make a nightmarish trip to the grocery store, or just stay in the house and text Marvin the grocery list for him to pick up on the way home.

At about 6:00 I finally realize what time it is, pull myself away from frantic vacuuming and laundry folding, and crazily wonder how fast I can thaw a whole chicken, and whether or not the family can wait till 8:00 to eat dinner.

After we eat dinner at about 7:30, everyone leaves the kitchen to play with Daddy while I try and keep myself from falling asleep in the dishwasher.

When the kids are in bed (around 9:30) Marvin and I have a race to see who can get in bed the fastest.

He always wins because I have to get back up and get my phone...

WHAT really happens? (part1)

2010-12-07T13:04:00.001-05:00

This is what happens here in my head...or on a good day...

I remember to bring my cell phone to bed and it wakes me up at 6am with chimes. I only push the "snooze" button once or twice.

I hop out of bed, make it up, and put on my workout clothes

After greeting my always-awake-early husband, I start a load of laundry and do a quick "swish and swipe" in the bathroom

I then head out to the kitchen, take my pills with a glass of water, and turn on the TV...what?? Yes, turn on the TV...to exercise!

After a 30 minute workout with my EA Sports Active virtual trainer, I kiss my hubby 'bye and head up to the shower

Since I got up early enough, the kids are still asleep while I shower, fix my hair and face, and dress.

By the time they are up, I am in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

They come down dressed, and leave their dirty laundry by the washing machine, and Alec and Benji unload the dishwasher while I finish making food and get Ava settled at the table.

The morning progresses nicely from there, with my reading a Bible passage to the kids while they finish eating, and school work finishing up around 1:00.

In the afternoon, we do housework together, and continue chore training for each child, run errands, visit with friends, go to the library or the grocery store, and other necessities.

At about 5:00 I start fixing a meal off of my meal list that I planned the week before. We eat around 6:30 when Marvin gets home.

After dinner everyone helps clear the table and do the dishes and we spend the rest of the evening working on projects, reading, checking school work, or playing until bedtime.

After the kids are in bed (between 8 and 9) Marvin and I spend time cozy on the couch watching a sitcom or just talking until we go to bed around 10...

yeah. right.

I'll tell you tomorrow what REALLY happens...

{four} oh my!

2010-12-05T21:55:00.000-05:00

you were born {four} years ago today

two weeks before your due date

we didn't want your birthday to compete with Christmas

we wanted it as separate, as special as possible

right now you {love}...

dollies

LEGOs

your toy kitchen

workbooks

Fancy Nancy

princess stuff

lip gloss

coloring books and markers, NOT crayons

your girlie friends

your toy horse, Fancy

Aunt Karen's real horse, Fancy

right now you love to {play}...

with your stuffed animals

farm with your Fisher Price barn and animals

make "oatmeal" for your dollies like Daddy does for you

ballerina

a funny game with Benji and Alec called "Princess Power"

dress up with Benji as your stylist

right now you love to {eat}...

cucumbers

carrots

salad

soup

still not sure about sandwiches

brown rice

oatmeal with blueberries

beans

salmon

and just about anything else I serve you

right now you are {learning}...

how to read

how to write

how to color in the lines

how to sit still for a book with chapters and pictures

how to set the table

how to wash dishes and wash the sink

how to share and use your words when you're frustrated

how to memorize the Bible

will be learning to play the violin

right now {we love} your...

smile

curly hair

still chubby feet

huggies and kisses each night

sense of humor

eagerness to help

desire to learn

sweet mix of tomboy and princess

...you asked Jesus to live in your heart about a month ago...

even though you are young, you knew exactly what it meant...

we love you just the way you are...

don't grow too fast precious daughter....

not Posh

2010-11-22T16:59:00.000-05:00

I get a precious few chances each year to dress up and go out in public with my man. I love to be fancy, but how practical are heels and pearls at the grocery? Every year at Christmas, we attend at least one, sometimes two, definitely-not-casual parties for Marvin's job, and sometimes, if I've been REALLY good, Santa brings me tickets for a fancy theater event.

Last night, I was looking over our calendar and asked Marvin if he knew when the parties were this year. As he casually told me that there were no parties this time, only dinners out after hours with the staff, my visions of a new dress dissolved in a cloud of disappointment.

Determined to squeeze at least one outing out of the season, I asked if he had looked at tickets for the ballet. We took Ava last year to see a matinee performance of The Nutcracker and she was completely enamored, behaving better than some of the adults around us! Oh yes, he informed me, Ava and I talked about that last night. She said how much she loved it, and was excited when I told her we'd go next year.

New dress, come to mama! I thought...and then...oh wait, he said next year. WHY???

I think I was yelling a bit as I complained to him about the disappointment his new boss was to me, cheating me out of my "Fancy Nancy" moment, and berating him for not thinking of ballet tickets for this year.

We dropped the conversation for the evening, in favor of paperwork and bedtime, but I'm bringing it up again, dang it! I want my new dress and uncomfortable shoes and sparkly earrings and chilly arms and smokey eyeshadow! Not fair that I should be deprived of my one evening of no stretch pants and pill-y cardigans...I'm just sayin'...

{WARNING!} dead animal and a Bible lesson ahead!

2010-11-17T09:35:00.000-05:00

Yep, that's a (purposefully) dead deer.

Yep, that's my kids and my husband.

I hope no one is offended.

This is part of our life, and is a great teaching opportunity for everyone in the family.

Marvin hunts on my aunt's land every fall and this year was blessed with a nice buck after only 30 minutes of waiting! He called me right away and at 8:00 am I put the kids in the car and drove 50 minutes for a wonderful Bible, Science, and life skills lesson.

We have just finished talking about how before The Fall, Adam's sin in the Garden of Eden, there was no death. That means that everyone and everything ate only plants! Yes, lions (and people) were vegetarians!

After the disobedience, God sacrificed an animal, shedding blood for the first time, to clothe Adam and Eve. (Genesis 3:21) After this, God listed the consequences for Adam and Eve, among which are pain, hard work, and death. (Genesis 3:14-19)

As we inspected the deer, I reminded the kids of this, and that since we now live in a fallen world, there is death. I also reminded them that God send His son, Jesus, to be the ultimate sacrifice for our sins so that we can have eternal life, to take away the curse of death.

Along with a Bible lesson, the kids got to witness the most excellent biology class ever, taught by their dad! They saw what happens when an animal dies, they saw lungs and intestines, they saw the heart and saw how hard and firm it was and learned why.

Their papa was there, and he talked with them about how thin and small the deers legs are and how it seems like they shouldn't be able to carry the weight of the body and head and how perfectly God designed each animal.

We also discussed what a deer eats, and how important it is that, if you're choosing to eat meat, your meat has eaten what God has naturally provided for it, not feed from a bag with artificial "mystery" ingredients. I reminded them, too, that we believe it's wrong to kill just for the sake of killing and sport, and that if you are going to kill, you should only do it respectfully and for food and sustenance.

Then, while Ava and I played with my aunt's animals (puppies, horse and donkey! who needs a trip to the zoo?) the boys learned how to field dress a deer and how much work it is, and how heavy it is to drag to the truck. They also learned about coyotes and why it's important to leave the insides of the deer far away from the house!

That was our Saturday last week...Bible, Science, Biology, Physics, life skills, nutrition, and family bonding time...all wrapped up in one last minute trip to the country! This is just one of the many reasons we continue to enjoy teaching our children at home.

{three} short weeks

2010-11-16T08:43:00.000-05:00

this

little

girl

still amazes me...

still makes me laugh...

still fits on my lap...

is still little...

and is still my baby...

but

in three short weeks

she's turning

four!

I know, I know...

2010-11-12T19:22:00.001-05:00

...I haven't been here in nearly two weeks.

And the last thing I left was a picture of my trashed kitchen floor.

Nice, right?

Well, my horse raced away with the cart and I needed to go catch the reins again...so to speak.

So here's what you've missed:

We started *ahem* working on another baby (clearly in the forefront of my mind right now!) Not sure if this is the kind of activity I should be talking about on my blog, but I"m really excited and thought you all might like to be excited with me!

My birthday is on Sunday. I will be 35.

I always said (rather stubbornly) my womb was closed at that age.

I guess God has other plans!

Ava will be turning 4 in a mere 3 weeks.

Ouch! I did a cute photo shoot of her today all decked out ala "Fancy Nancy"

(for those of you with girls this age, you'll know exactly what I"m talking about!)

Alec is big...really big. He asked me the other day if I had shrunk!

We've pretty much finished that upstairs room, now no longer called the "junk room".

I have one more wall I need to embellish and a couple details elsewhere to take care of, but I needed to take a break for a minute and let life resume normal routine first.

I know you're all dying to see pictures...soon...very soon!

I cleaned out the boy's closet and re-organized their whole room last weekend.

Exhausting!

Under Benji's bed I found 5 nearly full tissue boxes...and other remarkable items.

They love their "new" room and are refusing to play in there because they don't want to mess it up! Ugh!

I got asked (again) to be the church photographer for an upcoming baby dedication.

I love taking pictures. I do not love editing them.

It's just so time consuming when there are a couple hundred to go through!

If they keep asking me, I may start charging...is that wrong? It is church, after all...I should be donating my time, right? Hmmm...

I'm starting to get the urge to do a fun sewing project. I love making Ava summer dresses, but shy away from it in the winter because of the sleeve issue...sleeves are H.A.R.D. to finish on the edges unless you have a serger...I don't. I think I just really need to buckle down and finish the quilt I started last fall! Ha!

I love Christmas and Thanksgiving.

I really, really, really hate being cold. I probably shouldn't be living in the midwest!

I really hope my best friend gets to come home soon.

It will be a long, sad winter if she doesn't.

Marvin and Alec are at a hockey game right now.

The tickets were for Marvin's birthday from his family with the intent that we'd go on a date and they'd babysit.

See how well the plan worked?

I"m now the babysitter for two of my children while Marvin takes my other child out to dinner and the game! No, really, it's OK. Alec has been begging to go to one for quite some time and was the perfect opportunity.

I'm getting really sick of Sponge Bob. In French, it's Bob L'eponge.

Mr. Popper's Penguins is just as entertaining now as when I read it as a child.

We're getting ready to study a bit of ancient African history and I'm super excited. Africa has always fascinated me, and I hit the jackpot at the library. We'll be spending the whole week reading on the couch and making an African recipe.

I am, once again, in love with the FlyLady. She has given me wings to run and catch that fast horse that ran away with my cart and this week went so much better.

If you are at all struggling to balance housekeeping, meal planning, errands, etc. with the rest of your life, do yourself a favor and follow her advice!

Your family and stress hormones will thank you for it!

When we got home this afternoon...

2010-11-02T20:01:00.000-04:00

we saw this all over the kitchen floor

...thank you to our bored doggie!

thank goodness for this

and this

to help me clean it up!

classroom+free time=fun

2010-11-01T20:59:00.003-04:00

making plans...

working out the kinks...

trying it out...

success!!

fulcrum is in the right place, first class levers ROCK!

(so does learning in the front yard!)

at breakfast

2010-10-31T20:53:00.007-04:00

dragged through the house

floppy neck from many hugs

sharing the bed

too big for the car

soft

named Fancy

Christmas present

horsey-love

almost!

2010-10-30T20:45:00.000-04:00

I started at 8:30 this morning...one tree and several drapery panels later...we're nearly finished!

Stay tuned for the Big Reveal!!

just talking again...

2010-10-29T07:51:00.000-04:00

i feel flat, uncertain, lonely

desperately wanting to feel something other than this

caught up in the tumble crash of stress and work

too much noise prevents me from hearing my Jesus

all i hear now are things i don't want to,

telling me

i'm not good at teaching my kids

i'm not doing enough for them, spending enough time with them

i'm not working hard enough or fast enough- look at all the things piling up that need my immediate attention

i had such peace after my tiny babe went to be with Jesus

peace like a river washing over me

words of encouragement about freedom from my mind as a battleground

uplifting prayer for my heart

now something's changed

I've lost focus,

trying to see but the view is cloudy, distorted

i feel alone

there is no one to share this

everyone around me is caught up in their own busyness

Jesus is the only one and He is enough

but right now i can't hear Him because my life is too noisy

not sure what to do to pull the plug

i have to cook, clean, teach, minister grace and care to my family

take the kids to their activities that they love

tend to my husband's needs

be a friend, a listening ear and compassionate shoulder

stopping {life} would be self-serving

not accomplishing the goal

the noise would rise instead of diminish

something has to change inside of me

the tears need to come and wash away the clutter in my mind and heart

i need to be still and know

that i am where i need to be

and that Jesus is enough.

some of us

2010-10-23T11:13:00.000-04:00

are resting today...

the rest of us are

painting,

painting, painting

fingers stiff

caked with grey

eyes bleary from seeing the same color for hours

mind churning with ideas

can't wait to be finished

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-20T15:39:00.000-04:00

{one of the reasons i do what i do}

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-13T09:57:00.000-04:00

{time out}

2010-10-12T19:42:00.000-04:00

after all the hurry hurry of the weekend, we desperately needed a whole family {time out}

we peeled ourselves away from the painting on Sunday night
and took a drive to one of our favorite local parks

dinner cost $16 for the 5 of us and was easy clean up off of the picnic table

the kids were happy

{really} happy!

we took a walk to the water's edge

saw tiny beauty on the way

and amused ourselves till the sunset came

this is the best sort of {time out} possible, right?

don't you forget to take a {time out} this week with your little ones...

Keeping them busy...

2010-10-09T22:45:00.000-04:00

We used to do home improvement projects in shifts...one of us would mind the baby, one of us would paint, sand, etc.

This is the first time we've done a project that didn't have to be stealthily completed during naptime or worked on solo while the other parent pulled baby duty.

It's kind of nice!

We do, however, still need to make sure the kids are occupied with something CONSTRUCTIVE, otherwise we're liable to find missing kitchen utensils and an empty box of baking soda on the front porch.

Last week we tried to work on the room just an hour per night, and this was our activity of choice for the kids.

They didn't mind one bit.

In fact, sadly, we have actually never had them experience the joys of shaving cream on a table at all!

Not sure why, except...

when we went to clean them up, we realized exactly how messy it could be!

They all smelled like an adolescent out to woo some ladies, their fingers were pruny...

I wondered if we should ever eat cookies baked on these trays again and...

some of the finish was completely worn off the table!

Yikes!

Over all, a fun time was had, and our table is really none the worse for wear.

The room is coming along nicely, but at a snail's pace...this is a very busy time of year for us and we normally do NOT take on a project in the fall.

We're at the painting stage now, whew! so all should go smoothly from here on out...

more pictures of it this week {hopefully!}

!! progress !!

2010-09-27T17:56:00.000-04:00

This beauty's getting a makeover, Shelly-style!

Awesome wooden "locker" cabinet that we found for only $45 at an antique shop last weekend

Being scraped...I love orange, but this was a bit much!

(I'll store my upstairs sheets and towels in it, this old house has absolutely NO storage)

Re-purposed porch railing from a flea market

as our new upstairs banister...

NOT looking forward to painting this one!

...sneak peek

it's late but...

2010-09-26T00:34:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to talk...

We're still working on that room upstairs. Marvin gets home so late every night now, this project has been quite a bit different from our other remodels. I now know the true meaning of "weekend warrior"! It's so frustrating to walk up there every day and see NOTHING happening. And then in the few precious hours we have on Saturday and Sunday progress just c.r.a.w.l.s along because there's weekend life to attend to.

This morning Marvin had to work for a couple hours, so we did a bit of schooling, I did a lot of laundry, babysat a couple kids for a couple hours, made some food, made a whole lot of bread and did a whole lot of other Saturday-ish things. Once again, the day was two-thirds over and NOTHING happened upstairs.

(In his defense, I will say that Marvin was outside in the garage and at the hardware store working on the new banister that we need to install at the top of the stairs.)

Finally, I dragged myself away from life and headed outside to pick apart a vintage chair and get it ready for it's makeover. Alec and Ava assisted me with sandpaper and pliers and we made a nice bit of progress. By the time it was ready for paint, it was too cold and dark outside so we'll have to wait till tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just finished watching Confessions of a Shopaholic on Netflix. Funny movie! Marvin was asleep. Otherwise I would have never watched it, it would have made him gag. Once in a while everyone needs a sugary girl movie, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I loaned three maternity t shirts to a friend this afternoon and when I handed them over I cried. See, we had gotten pregnant at the same time and were all excited to have our babies together so we went shopping for maternity clothes together when we both started showing. (which was early for me since it was my fourth, and early for her since she's having twins!) But, since I don't need the shirts right now, and she really does, I loaned them. I thought I was over the miscarriage mostly, past the crying part, you know? But...as I handed her the bag, I blurted out, "I know this is unreasonable of me, but could you not wear those shirts when you're around me? It would just be too hard for me to see them on someone who is pregnant that is not me." and burst into tears. Awkward. For both of us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a really great time with the kids tonight at dinner. Hee-hee, yeah, I"m sure you're thinking what? Marvin was sleeping off a headache in bed, and for some reason, I just sat at the table with them long after we had finished and we were all giggling clowns for about half an hour. Singing songs, making faces, fake burping, pretending to spill stuff...it was hilarious. And silly. And fun. And we should do it more often. Usually they eat while I clean up and there is no hilarity. But tonight I sang them songs and they listened and laughed. It was much more fun than cleaning up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right now, I have nine tabs open in my browser. Five of them are File Folder games that I want to print. One of them is the address and phone number of the place I need to take my sewing machine for repairs. One is my email. One is a photo blog that I stumbled across and I'm not quite ready to be finished soaking in their beautiful images and dreaming of expensive lenses while I drool. And the last one is Blogger. I"m obsessed with tabs. For some reason, bookmarking isn't enough for me. I somehow feel that if I close a tab it's gone forever. Sometimes I really have to just take a deep breath and clear them because I have so many up that they're small and the funny scroll sideways arrow comes up and our computer starts freaking out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I haven't sewed in a while and I miss it. I screwed up my bobbin case doing all that shirring with elastic thread and now when I sew my tension is totally funky and every seam looks like a toddler did it by hand. Not good. I had to close my shop and I can't even work on my rag quilt or make my new curtains with my new fabulous fabric from IKEA. You'd think that getting it fixed would be a priority, yet there it sits forlornly with it's light off. Why do I always put off the important stuff? I'll call Monday. Maybe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK, I"m all talked out...callin' it a night...au revoir!

Life As We Know It

A Thousand Words...literally!

What do you do when...

We interrupt this program...

DEEPression

It was lovely...

Merry Merry Christmas!

Wo-hooo!

Minus one...

Grain Free Raisin Cookies

{{witty}}

Stuffed Shells

sleep in heavenly...

{proof}

Field of Bees

Normal

Ava

One of THOSE!

More than just a hill 'o beans

Just words...

licked!

one more Last Time

snowballs

It's about time!

Later, y'all!

Smoothie Moves

my MYnd

Peachy-keen

What I know...and don't!

in our {school} room...

disLike

Grain Free Delicious!

Stuff and Nonsense

Once upon a time, not so long ago...

Wordless Wednesday

When you go to the family farm...

here comes the SUN

How do you...

last weekend

company for dinner

happy INDEPENDANCE day!

Sh-hhhhh!

unCONVENTIONal

Wordless Wednesday

Are You Getting in Your Own Way?

Plans

It will

at {Nana's} house...

beauty in the mundane

Where...

{tight} strings

He's...

just {wondering}...

Fruit

a moment

This {morning}

puppy {love}

Annika

Wordless Wednesday

no Whining this time!

The Post in which I Whine Unabashedly in hopes that I'll Feel Better Afterwards

{stopped}

Wordless Wednesday

La Vie En Rose...

Looking In

what SHOULD be happening!? (part 3)

what REALLY happens! (part 2)

WHAT really happens? (part1)

{four} oh my!

not Posh

{WARNING!} dead animal and a Bible lesson ahead!

{three} short weeks

I know, I know...

When we got home this afternoon...

classroom+free time=fun

at breakfast

almost!

just talking again...

some of us

Wordless Wednesday